The Incomparable

329: He`s More Man than Puppet


  the incomparable [TS]

  number 329 December 2016 welcome back [TS]

  everybody to be uncomfortable i'm your [TS]

  host Jason Snell and it's that time of [TS]

  year it's December you know what that [TS]

  means star war is yep its star wars [TS]

  season from now until forever until it [TS]

  becomes unprofitable and although we are [TS]

  going to do a couple episodes about road [TS]

  one once it comes out i thought i would [TS]

  take this time II [TS]

  early in december for us to talk about [TS]

  something happy and heartwarming about [TS]

  Star Wars and that is why i am [TS]

  presenting to you the uncomfortable Star [TS]

  Wars travesty draft in which we will [TS]

  choose mostly things that are kind of [TS]

  bad about the thing we love which is [TS]

  star wars in different categories [TS]

  joining me to discuss travesties of star [TS]

  wars are these people who are not [TS]

  travesties at all [TS]

  dan more'n hi Dan hi Jason good to have [TS]

  you here Joe steel hello hello Monty [TS]

  Ashley hi hello John siracusa may the [TS]

  force be with you [TS]

  I comfort myself by thinking this [TS]

  episode can't be as bad as the holiday [TS]

  special episode David Sparkes is here [TS]

  hi David hi Jason good to hear happy to [TS]

  be here [TS]

  the force is strong or is it and David [TS]

  lower happy life day everyone alright [TS]

  here's how this is gonna work we have a [TS]

  bunch of different rounds in each round [TS]

  will be a category i have randomized are [TS]

  picking order it will advance by one as [TS]

  we move through the round so not [TS]

  everybody you know everybody get a [TS]

  chance to pick first in each of the [TS]

  categories as we go [TS]

  it's all handled randomly blame [TS] wait even you know you're [TS]

  giving away the secret is I'm always [TS]

  last [TS]

  everybody else rotates i will always be [TS]

  last because I'm your host and hostess [TS]

  that would be not host like to go [TS]

  anything but last so our first category [TS]

  around one of the travesty draft is this [TS]

  and this is the this is what started it [TS]

  all the concept that started at all [TS]

  which is I want everybody to pick a [TS]

  change to an existing Star Wars work [TS]

  made after it was originally released [TS]

  this is your opportunity to pick apart [TS]

  terrible things about the star wars [TS]

  special editions [TS]

  for us to discuss we will also if you [TS]

  have comments about someone else's pic [TS]

  feel free you can you can make those [TS]

  it's meant to be a discussion and not [TS]

  just a dr list of things because that [TS]

  would be a boring podcast Dan Morgan [TS]

  what would you like to choose as a bad [TS]

  change i get to go first in this round [TS]

  well in that case i'm going to take [TS]

  probably the most obvious choice right [TS]

  off the table which is of course the [TS]

  change to grito shooting first I think [TS]

  we can all understand pretty easily why [TS]

  it's a terrible terrible change not only [TS]

  does it totally ruin the sort of [TS]

  narrative arc this Han Solo [TS]

  devil-may-care Rogan scoundrel but it [TS]

  looks terrible [TS]

  it just looks really bad i remember [TS]

  watching it in the theater and thinking [TS]

  as they had this weird little like head [TS]

  jerk almost that Harrison Ford seems to [TS]

  do to avoid video shooting him you know [TS]

  that it's like well what was that like [TS]

  it looks it just looks terrible [TS]

  it's it's implausible to me that even [TS]

  someone is inept as grito could miss a [TS]

  shot from the truth feet away like [TS]

  that's that's pretty dumb and and the [TS]

  whole rationale behind it seemed [TS]

  ridiculous as well I mean it seemed like [TS]

  the only sort of pathetic or you know [TS]

  explanation they can give is that they [TS]

  didn't want Han Solo to be the kind of [TS]

  guy who would shoot someone down in cold [TS]

  blood and it just seems to me like I ate [TS]

  it seems so unbelievable and it seemed [TS]

  so damning to his character to have him [TS]

  be more via you know to not have him be [TS]

  that kind of cold shrewd calculating guy [TS]

  that I feel like it just seems it seems [TS]

  crazy it seems crazy and so I you know I [TS]

  obviously it's spawned many means and [TS]

  it's a two-point great contention for [TS]

  star wars fans with the with George [TS]

  Lucas but yeah it harkens back to that [TS]

  that brief change I think they changed [TS]

  it back when et where they took out the [TS]

  guns right when the walkie-talkies and I [TS]

  think they changed it back at a [TS]

  subsequent versions of their names like [TS]

  well that's that's dumb [TS]

  I'm so yeah same George Lucas [TS]

  unfortunately did not get quite the [TS]

  benefit of that later hindsight but yeah [TS]

  I think we can all agree that among [TS]

  travesties that is perhaps the one of [TS]

  the greatest travesties of the [TS]

  specializations i agree that was mine [TS]

  berwyn pick as a wise man once said [TS]

  everybody knows the greater never even [TS]

  fired 100 services sets up his entire [TS]

  mortal journey [TS]

  plus it's cool it is cool he's exactly [TS]

  the kind of guy who shoots in that [TS]

  scenario come on he has a moral journey [TS]

  but doesn't have a moral journey if he [TS]

  starts off a good guy ends up a good guy [TS]

  yeah exactly well that's a great choice [TS]

  I think we all have to tip our cap to [TS]

  Dan who was randomly selected to choose [TS]

  a grieving father set and now we move on [TS]

  to Jojo do you have a special edition [TS]

  change that you would like to throw on [TS]

  the bonfire that already has Darth [TS]

  Vader's toasty body on it but let's [TS]

  throw some other things on there [TS]

  I do however it's not strictly speaking [TS]

  a special addiction it's the version [TS]

  from 2011 change that George Lucas made [TS]

  when he was releasing the blu-rays [TS]

  they're all special Joe they're all [TS]

  special editions and they certainly have [TS]

  a special place somewhere and [TS]

  anatomically speaking but this [TS]

  particular change in sense to me because [TS]

  I didn't know about it until he was [TS]

  watching the digital version last year [TS]

  to do our episode and the focus and they [TS]

  have grafted in the know from episode 3 [TS]

  the infamous know that no yeah they [TS]

  grafted that in to a scene that had a [TS]

  emotional gravity probably one of the [TS]

  better parts of Return of the Jedi where [TS]

  everything comes to a head and it's the [TS]

  Emperor luke and vader and it's turning [TS]

  Vader against the Emperor and saving [TS]

  Luke and they totally botched it [TS]

  I I absolutely loathe that there is no [TS]

  reason that change needed to exist and [TS]

  it just it sullies what otherwise is [TS]

  probably one of the the pivotal pump [TS]

  points of the entire three movies that [TS]

  you the first we'll see [TS]

  so i just i don't understand the [TS]

  changing on it infuriates every just so [TS]

  angry flames flames on the side of my [TS]

  head he says it twice to that's the [TS]

  worst part is like as he's looking he [TS]

  says and it's so on-the-nose is no very [TS]

  shortly and it's like really and then he [TS]

  and then he grabbed the Emperor go to [TS]

  know [TS]

  oh and throws him and and doesn't seem [TS]

  like someone just trolling all of us and [TS]

  I'm the Emperor else to when he goes [TS]

  down the shaft [TS]

  it's just awful makes me so angry [TS]

  because it's one of those things just [TS]

  like a damn had said there's the [TS]

  execution of an idea and there's the the [TS]

  concept of an idea in this case it [TS]

  doesn't matter how perfectly they had [TS]

  executed this if it didn't seem like it [TS]

  was recycled stuff that was added later [TS]

  it's still just conceptually is flawed [TS]

  and there's no reason for that dialogue [TS]

  to exist [TS]

  he's just he's very obvious that he's [TS]

  throwing him over the thing he doesn't [TS]

  need to be so literal when he's a man [TS]

  he's saying what he's gonna do like and [TS]

  now i will throw the Emperor over this i [TS]

  am for her go away and you can kind of [TS]

  see that their blood their weird [TS]

  rationale there was like well he's [TS]

  wearing a mask so you can see this [TS]

  journey plywood on his famous saying [TS]

  that mask is so expressive i agree with [TS]

  you John I feel like it is very [TS]

  expensive i think that's their flawed [TS]

  reasoning for it the mask is more [TS]

  expressive than any of the actors who [TS]

  played the character well Joe that was [TS]

  on my list i watch those i watch the [TS]

  before-and-after earlier today it is [TS]

  ridiculous and I I spent so much time [TS]

  with the specialized positions now that [TS]

  I had never had heard about it but I'd [TS]

  never seen it it is [TS]

  yes flames anger it's so terrible i [TS]

  think i saw the YouTube clip of it that [TS]

  was it huh [TS]

  it's so terrible for more seriously [TS]

  about about the mask being expressive [TS]

  like we say that because we have empathy [TS]

  with the character remember watching it [TS]

  but that empathy obvious doesn't cover [TS]

  the mask which doesn't actually move it [TS]

  comes entirely from the plot that has [TS]

  led up to that the camera you know the [TS]

  editing and when they show him the [TS]

  Emperor than him the Emperor and the [TS]

  music and like there's so much there you [TS]

  don't need you don't need any facial [TS]

  expression established because that mass [TS]

  does not change shape at all there's [TS]

  subtext right and then this erases that [TS]

  in favor of like let's just bring it all [TS]

  out on the table and so you didn't you [TS]

  didn't need anything in his face and [TS]

  they're like well we don't we don't have [TS]

  faced can we make him just say what his [TS]

  teeth but he's feeling we haven't just [TS]

  say it [TS]

  yes and we have any audio of that [TS]

  actually we do have some audio of that [TS]

  word so such bad decision-making well i [TS]

  would i would say in addition to the [TS]

  music and the cutting you know and the [TS]

  camera angles i think there's even some [TS]

  good body language that David Prowse [TS]

  yes that shows you his tension and he [TS]

  keep you know he keeps looking and [TS]

  turning and it's it's you can see the [TS]

  whole dilemma on Darth Vader's face [TS]

  basically in his body language totally [TS]

  unnecessary terrible yeah and I mean it [TS]

  it's another thing where Lucas got to a [TS]

  point where he didn't want to let the [TS]

  audience put the pieces together and [TS]

  that was a moment that was great for [TS]

  that but of course it was directed by [TS]

  someone else [TS]

  there's a bit of subtext that that [TS]

  turned into text like like everything in [TS]

  the prequels a little bit of [TS]

  preeclampsia Vader was going to be the [TS]

  kind of character for mumbles his [TS]

  motivations out loud [TS]

  under his breath constantly that's no [TS]

  Vader right know it [TS]

  this is also many years after everyone [TS]

  was outraged by the the original know so [TS]

  it's not like George Lucas was oblivious [TS]

  to the fact that people like it's like [TS]

  it's the right despite people don't like [TS]

  that no guess what your heart it's [TS]

  totally a troll guys [TS]

  yeah well he's he's totally control so [TS]

  that makes Monte what's a what's a [TS]

  change to an existing work that really [TS]

  bugs you [TS]

  well joe went for a change that was [TS]

  after the special editions the one [TS]

  that's always bothered me is from before [TS]

  the special editions Empire Strikes Back [TS]

  came out in 1980 and then the original [TS]

  movie star wars was re-released on April [TS]

  10 1981 and that's when it was renamed [TS]

  to star wars episode 4 colon a new hope [TS]

  now I don't find the episode 4 part but [TS]

  i'm not calling that movie a new hope no [TS]

  one knows what you mean that movie is [TS]

  called Star Wars yep and it's really [TS]

  weird to change the name of your movie [TS]

  four years after you made it [TS]

  it's the biggest movie in the world [TS]

  people its branded already it's too late [TS]

  how do you feel about indiana jones and [TS]

  the raiders along I kills me that causes [TS]

  me alphabetization problems everyday but [TS]

  if you watch raiders of the lost ark [TS]

  they didn't change the title in the [TS]

  movie [TS]

  yeah just on the box but they changed [TS]

  the title of star wars 2 episode for a [TS]

  new hope on screen during the running of [TS]

  the movie and I I people who notice that [TS]

  we know we have [TS]

  people here who call it a new hope John [TS]

  calls a new hope I i we have a service [TS]

  i'm not one of those people i am a star [TS]

  wars person that movie is called Star [TS]

  Wars that's the name of the movie [TS]

  see here's the thing is like as someone [TS]

  who is younger and like really I mean I [TS]

  didn't see it in theaters right so most [TS]

  of my ex you know I i was exposed video [TS]

  on the video tapes & and so basically i [TS]

  had seen it as that for my entire life [TS]

  and and just when talking about it with [TS]

  friends [TS]

  it was always simpler to call we just [TS]

  call aah because like if you said Star [TS]

  Wars you know you well you know terms [TS]

  it's in precise right like you can [TS]

  referring to the whole frame the whole [TS]

  franchise and its own just to be you [TS]

  know avoid confusion we used to be used [TS]

  to just call it an image and that's why [TS]

  I called me up on podcasts like I grew [TS]

  up going star wars and i always think of [TS]

  it as stars but for the purpose of [TS]

  discussing movies on podcast especially [TS]

  when were usually discussing like the [TS]

  entire series right that's why I'm [TS]

  calling in to help because it [TS]

  distinguishes it immediately think I've [TS]

  never called episode 4 [TS]

  honestly I never call it episode 4 I [TS]

  would never find myself doing because [TS]

  the episode thing I reserve entirely for [TS]

  the people haha but i do like how the [TS]

  prequels have taken over so if you say [TS]

  episode one never knows what you mean [TS]

  episode 1 [TS]

  everyone groans and God knows what you [TS]

  mean but the confusion of whether that [TS]

  movie or the series called Star Wars is [TS]

  George Lucas's fault and he made that [TS]

  decision and it came out in April 10 [TS]

  1981 and if he'd done anything else and [TS]

  just left that will be called Star Wars [TS]

  everything would be better we call to [TS]

  start two wars star wars ER start with [TS]

  the motion picture first one is star [TS]

  wore the sequel star wore out that for [TS]

  you and the stars and more until [TS]

  everyone is a great star wars list [TS]

  alright these are great uh you know [TS]

  nobody has disappointed me John what's [TS]

  up people of the stolen a lot of my [TS]

  stuff so I got back from my backup Syria [TS]

  think I'm gonna have to know it's a swap [TS]

  of the order here and i'm going to go [TS]

  with adding java to Mos Eisley in a new [TS]

  hope also noticed [TS]

  also on my list right so that was filmed [TS]

  like it's originally filmed him he [TS]

  wanted to do it come with the big guy [TS]

  wearing the the fur coat and everything [TS]

  and you know now we have the technology [TS]

  we go back and we can add that scene [TS]

  kind of like the grito seen it looks [TS]

  really bad another two versions of this [TS]

  both of them look really bad because it [TS]

  was shot with you know Harrison Ford [TS]

  walking around the guy with the fur coat [TS]

  and so they lay in Java not really to [TS]

  the right scale because he's got to kind [TS]

  of fit in the shot with him [TS]

  yeah and then they have him walk behind [TS]

  him and go over his tail and this crazy [TS]

  cut-and-paste where they floats up in [TS]

  the air goes back down like so that says [TS]

  the terriblest but also it's pointless [TS]

  because it doesn't add any urgency to [TS]

  haunt situation like we we know he's on [TS]

  the run we always got problems us seeing [TS]

  the person who he owes money to branches [TS]

  down the tension up because Java is not [TS]

  impressive or intimidating or scary and [TS]

  and if you're a crime lord you don't [TS]

  show up yourself right that's why grito [TS]

  is there it's like there's a bounty on [TS]

  him job doesn't come out there and slid [TS]

  his way into the hangar and and give him [TS]

  a stern talking-to and then he goes on [TS]

  his way it undercuts the entire thing [TS]

  and it looks terrible and when I think [TS]

  of what they've done to that the you [TS]

  know to the entire trilogy but [TS]

  specifically the star wars it really [TS]

  bothers me that the that scene is there [TS]

  like I just I just really just skip over [TS]

  don't watch it [TS]

  dialogue wise it's very clear that at [TS]

  some point after they shot the job scene [TS]

  they realize they were going to use it [TS]

  and move dialogue into the grito scene [TS]

  and so there's duplicated dialogue it [TS]

  literally makes no sense that they have [TS]

  the same conversation twice they added [TS]

  it back in didn't trim the dialogue in [TS]

  the gross in which is fine because they [TS]

  shouldn't do that but it you watch it as [TS]

  a you know vaguely attentive viewer and [TS]

  you can see they're just saying the same [TS]

  things again it doesn't make any sense [TS]

  it should not be in the movie it [TS]

  undercuts to return of the jedi because [TS]

  return the Jedi seeing job of the fact [TS]

  that you know that's a reveal and why [TS]

  would render it looks now it's tied [TS]

  together job isn't just made up of the [TS]

  third movie was in the first movie look [TS]

  here is we knew exactly what he was [TS]

  going to like you know you didn't he had [TS]

  a gun for code and that's a reveal for [TS]

  the third movie like say it's just it's [TS]

  terrible when it's it's more of a [TS]

  the suspense kind of thing anyway you [TS]

  know it's like it's like the third man [TS]

  he almost Harry Lime almost never shows [TS]

  up in the movie until the very end and [TS]

  everybody talks about him and you hear [TS]

  about Mandy's menacing as a result is [TS]

  the same thing with Jabba if all you [TS]

  have for these minions coming after solo [TS]

  and then you know then it's like in the [TS]

  third movie now we have job you know now [TS]

  it's serious [TS]

  where is this it's like oh he's he's [TS]

  small enough that he can go and visit [TS]

  him in the hangar [TS]

  he's an ugly sad fucking slut guy I get [TS]

  it yeah yeah I've been quiet because I [TS]

  completely agree with everything [TS]

  everybody said i would just like to just [TS]

  gonna pile on and say that this is awful [TS]

  but uh as John said they've done this [TS]

  twice and it still looks terrible and i [TS]

  don't know how many more times they need [TS]

  to do it because i'm not even sure they [TS]

  could do it well if they gave it another [TS]

  shot because it just the movement that [TS]

  is required to replace the actor that's [TS]

  there is so unjust alike from what you [TS]

  see in return of the jedi that ate it [TS]

  would never [TS]

  conceptually function because you still [TS]

  have something that small and moving too [TS]

  fast and you still have Harrison Ford [TS]

  hopping over the back of it i just don't [TS]

  think you're ever gonna get this angel [TS]

  to work at all and I so I I don't even [TS]

  think it's a thing of being overly [TS]

  ambitious with the tools he had i think [TS]

  it was it was something where it's just [TS]

  like oh yeah these pieces will not fit [TS]

  together at all so I should just abandon [TS]

  it [TS]

  I'm willing to forgive everything that [TS]

  scene except Harrison forward being [TS]

  clearly just moved up as he goes oh yes [TS]

  just translated he levitates the total [TS]

  two down.of alright David lure it's your [TS]

  turn for a travesty that was a change [TS]

  what do you have [TS]

  well I'm everything has been on my list [TS]

  so far so I'm just crossing off going [TS]

  down and and I actually have a few more [TS]

  but the the 1i think I'm gonna go with [TS]

  because it drove me nuts in the theater [TS]

  at the moment watching special editions [TS]

  every scene that they can shove things [TS]

  in in every section of the frame drove [TS]

  me nuts [TS]

  you know i mean okay yes yes make Mos [TS]

  Eisley bigger yes have all these [TS]

  creatures yes add more ships in the [TS]

  background two scenes but not so many [TS]

  you know and there's so many moving [TS]

  hearts that they throw in there that [TS]

  it's hard to focus once you have you [TS]

  know once you're on the streets of Mos [TS]

  Eisley you have all these things walking [TS]

  around and walking in front walking [TS]

  behind and you know it's like stop it [TS]

  I know you can do this but do it better [TS]

  You Know have an editor have someone say [TS]

  no no not not 30 like five and five [TS]

  things five is good maybe the opening [TS]

  shot and what most isolated is the best [TS]

  example I think of just there's too much [TS]

  stuff there [TS]

  yeah that was the final thing on my list [TS]

  dinosaurs do not make Mos Eisley seem [TS]

  you can see ya in a slapstick robots [TS]

  it's supposed to be a backwater right [TS]

  like it seems always a negative [TS]

  it just seems like I don't know if you [TS]

  look at the circus is in town [TS]

  I don't mind a few more bad guys it's a [TS]

  wretched hi it's like he wants to make [TS]

  it into two like Casablanca but with you [TS]

  know dinosaurs as if they didn't have [TS]

  enough background characters to [TS]

  merchandise they're like oh great we're [TS]

  doing opportunity [TS]

  yeah painful these are all great and [TS]

  terrible at the same time David Sparkes [TS]

  what do you have what so what's a [TS]

  special edition change that you do not [TS]

  approve of [TS]

  well first of all I I second every pic [TS]

  so far should think what one that struck [TS]

  me like a in the theater just like what [TS]

  the heck did they do is the song Jedi [TS]

  rocks minus 1 take it was on my list too [TS]

  yeah yeah i mean there but the song they [TS]

  played in Jabba's palace originally was [TS]

  kind of in universe felt like it then [TS]

  they put this Jedi rocks thing which [TS]

  makes no sense because there's no Jedi [TS]

  around at this point how could who's [TS]

  left to rock and and then the CGI [TS]

  character that they created for it is is [TS]

  terrible and the whole thing is just the [TS]

  CGI character could be described as a as [TS]

  a bad actor you could do it with that [TS]

  character that it is just that the guy [TS]

  who liked keeps coming up to the camera [TS]

  and backing off and the other moment [TS]

  we'll see Jackie here is that hole yeah [TS]

  it's terrible [TS]

  random guy could you take it down from [TS]

  like 11 [TS]

  really playing this card and it led even [TS]

  do a shot where he opens up his mouth [TS]

  and you see us alive in the back of his [TS]

  foot [TS]

  yes they couldn't do like ray-traced [TS]

  reflective slice which is this mushy [TS]

  almost no glue like metallic thing it's [TS]

  it's gross [TS]

  uh is it is really disturbing i just [TS]

  don't know what a just makes me you're [TS]

  suddenly in the Looney Tunes cartoon or [TS]

  something else [TS]

  Newman and his tonsils like that's not [TS]

  that's not a thing we do is start what [TS]

  happened here to read we change on a [TS]

  frozen and you just can't get the scene [TS]

  is that a great scene as as I grew up [TS]

  with it but then it like just takes you [TS]

  out and it's terrible [TS]

  max Reeboks maximo gets like totally [TS]

  sideline he would get a couple shots but [TS]

  he is everybody's favorite blue alien [TS]

  bandleader and he's totally just a [TS]

  puppet sorry Bloo adium bandleader [TS]

  puppet and he's totally sidelined in the [TS]

  in the redo to which is no good so yet [TS]

  and even the makeup on the new backup [TS]

  singers it doesn't look anything like [TS]

  the rest of the film [TS]

  well my choice is also a musical [TS]

  replacement in Return of the Jedi [TS]

  oh cuz you know what I'll i want you but [TS]

  the end I want you know at the end I [TS]

  don't want orchestral music and shots of [TS]

  planets from the prequels as the final [TS]

  victory is celebrated in you know I [TS]

  don't [TS]

  yup knob you know it was a weird choice [TS]

  and all that but expect we spent two [TS]

  hours with those little teddy bears on [TS]

  their little forest moon we're gonna go [TS]

  with you dub and into a race d climax of [TS]

  this great trilogy and replace it with [TS]

  kind of some new music and a lot of [TS]

  fireworks because everybody's got [TS]

  fireworks ready to go in case of [TS]

  anything good happens anywhere and the [TS]

  shots of khorasan and all that you know [TS]

  what a what a UH a bitter way to end the [TS]

  watching the special edition trilogies [TS]

  to have the the final capper be this [TS]

  kind of generic rewrite and promotion of [TS]

  material from the prequel trilogy it [TS]

  doesn't make any sense with what we know [TS]

  now right like because it's not like [TS]

  everybody was just like a the Empire's [TS]

  done [TS]

  yeah right like that that make that made [TS]

  no sense to me at the time because all [TS]

  of a sudden you realize like how did the [TS]

  news get from like all the way over [TS]

  there and then everyone's like oh yeah [TS]

  we're free like there's still a ton of [TS]

  people left like the Empire still around [TS]

  so yeah we always struck me as very like [TS]

  a hollow victory thing and so it was [TS]

  weird to have it like echoed over all [TS]

  these planets [TS]

  yeah at and including Coruscant doesn't [TS]

  make any sense that wasn't setting and [TS]

  committed any of these films are you and [TS]

  the ones that i didn't know that I had [TS]

  my list that didn't come out by the way [TS]

  were r2d2 hiding behind the cgi rocks [TS]

  redoubling of Boba Fett's voice with the [TS]

  and with the actor who did Jango Fett [TS]

  from the original prequels and of course [TS]

  the placement of hayden christensen as a [TS]

  horse yeah it among the many disastrous [TS]

  things that happened at the end of [TS]

  Return of the Jedi return of jedi for a [TS]

  movie that would seem to not have that [TS]

  many changes at first glance and then [TS]

  you realize know it i think it fares the [TS]

  worst of all of the movies in terms of [TS]

  the changes that they made yeah they're [TS]

  a lot like they tried the hardest to [TS]

  because I feel like maybe they felt like [TS]

  that was the one they were most [TS]

  dissatisfied with her that George was [TS]

  most dissatisfied with and so it felt [TS]

  like he charged tried really hard to [TS]

  like make it better and it was like you [TS]

  overcompensate [TS]

  yeah you know that everybody wanted to [TS]

  get hired for the prequel so they're [TS]

  trying to outdo each other this is right [TS]

  yeah we see the SES yes man you could [TS]

  possibly be enough about Rick McCallum [TS]

  the two things i had that didn't get [TS]

  mentioned where the two to David's point [TS]

  out the Masai changes the Empire changes [TS]

  in Cloud City where they're running [TS]

  around the lb suddenly outdoor carrot [TS]

  the corridors which is just again [TS]

  unnecessary and then there's that weird [TS]

  scene that they shove in an empire where [TS]

  he says bring my shuttle and I always [TS]

  felt like that just it just totally [TS]

  ruins the pacing yet I I that was [TS]

  someone used footage from Return of the [TS]

  Jedi they just like how will we get we [TS]

  got an extra shuttle landing let's just [TS]

  put it in here because we need to make [TS]

  sure the audience knows how he got back [TS]

  up to the ship happens like I don't know [TS]

  how it's terrible it's such a bad scene [TS]

  just because it ruins what again like [TS]

  what is probably the best you know and [TS]

  most coherent of all three of them light [TS]

  is the most it's tightly edited like [TS]

  Empire and so it's shoving that in there [TS]

  all of a sudden you just get like [TS]

  whiplash because you're like wait what I [TS]

  was I was engaged in like that what's [TS]

  going on down there [TS]

  vampire one of the obscure things on my [TS]

  list is the change of the line when our [TS]

  to get spit out by the closure and sega [TS]

  and the original line is dorky comedy [TS]

  totally in fitting with that whole [TS]

  setting which is you [TS]

  you're lucky you don't taste very good [TS]

  but just true he probably doesn't taste [TS]

  very good and they replace that with you [TS]

  were lucky to get out of there it was [TS]

  not and is worse doesn't it [TS]

  then again that is just totally puddling [TS]

  it's like they shouldn't effort on that [TS]

  I can't we don't know they didn't David [TS]

  they did not like you're really it's not [TS]

  on the right it's almost as if that [TS]

  they're trying to say like do it [TS]

  happening jokes that are corny and and [TS]

  don't land we should fix those and they [TS]

  misidentified one that is its it lands [TS]

  just fine lands as well is every other [TS]

  line in dega and I said we need to fix [TS]

  that instead of punching it up they [TS]

  basically got you know someone to come [TS]

  in and punch down the script can you [TS]

  punch that down [TS]

  sure how about you were lucky to get out [TS]

  of there yes that's punchdown good [TS]

  replace it [TS]

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  I think something like that involves [TS]

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  to that that mattress though that [TS]

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  Casper for sponsoring the incomparable [TS]

  alright let's move on to round two in [TS]

  this round we will be picking the worst [TS]

  retcon anything that was stated in film [TS]

  and made later that changes our [TS]

  understanding of something that came [TS]

  before and just kick us off this time [TS]

  will be Joe steel [TS]

  ok so there are a lot of changes that I [TS]

  disagree with and say things that just [TS]

  reaching back altered something that I [TS]

  really enjoyed one of those things is [TS]

  the origin story for c-3po III don't [TS]

  know why and you can need to build him i [TS]

  don't know why having him in all three [TS]

  of the first movies and then wiping his [TS]

  mind and then saying he was there the [TS]

  whole entire time but not really and [TS]

  then having r2d2 along [TS]

  I'm not wiping r2d2's mind and so he [TS]

  knows all the stuff too and it's just [TS]

  like this is a really strange choice IE [TS]

  really up really bothered me because I [TS]

  actually really like c-3po and I know [TS]

  that he's not anyone's favorite [TS]

  character except for probably but uh it [TS]

  just didn't work and the rod puppet was [TS]

  ridiculous and the reasons that he made [TS]

  a protocol droid for his enslaved mother [TS]

  are not Apple existent you know [TS]

  yeah so is always my pic that's why was [TS]

  my number one picture I wasn't saying [TS]

  someone else added boy those minor [TS]

  leagues API was inexplicable origin [TS]

  no it's not gonna nobody remembers now [TS]

  when you watch the original trilogy any [TS]

  type c-3po systems like thank the maker [TS]

  as he's sinking into the oil bath you [TS]

  have yup yup come on the fader but it [TS]

  does give you all these hilarious [TS]

  conspiracy theories like there's a scene [TS]

  in Empire where uh you know but with [TS]

  that goes to shoot chewy when he's [TS]

  freaking out in the carbonate chamber [TS]

  and Darth Vader like pushes his gun down [TS]

  and i had a friend suggested me like no [TS]

  it's because he recognized the c-3po he [TS]

  doesn't want to shoot c-3po like [TS]

  stormtroopers already shy nobody's alive [TS]

  at that point it's like it's like that's [TS]

  a great conspiracy theory [TS]

  alright c-3po I i agree it was on my [TS]

  list too [TS]

  yea Monty what what's your bad redcon c3 [TS]

  feels ok but I like r2d2 you know i like [TS]

  about rtd to use this cool robot who [TS]

  rolls around everywhere and you can do a [TS]

  lot of things [TS]

  oh and by the way it turns out he can [TS]

  fly he could've been flying this whole [TS]

  time I mean that he could have avoided [TS]

  that whole problem John was talking [TS]

  about with the catcher in the swamp all [TS]

  it is it the jags that is that fuel they [TS]

  never refilled them [TS]

  yeah maybe it was just broken he well [TS]

  maybe it was like c-3po we're gonna wipe [TS]

  your mind already do [TS]

  it's like what's the rocket pack gonna [TS]

  be five min and James Bond get oil [TS]

  slicks he's got a booster rockets there [TS]

  i think he was here all along tax come [TS]

  out behind him by the time you get to [TS]

  clone wars the cartoon which is still [TS]

  cannon he's flying all the time [TS]

  consuming just completely ran out of [TS]

  rocket fuel [TS]

  just before episode 4 which is why he [TS]

  couldn't just fly over all those sand [TS]

  dunes and avoid all the Jawas i do [TS]

  teachers ability to fly affects a lot of [TS]

  scenes [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah alright John what's a bad [TS]

  redcon you're gonna disqualify this is [TS]

  not a red card but i think it doesn't [TS]

  have a little bit of supporting evidence [TS]

  in the much-hated prequels Padme dies [TS]

  during childbirth pretty inexplicably of [TS]

  a broken heart of sadness losing the [TS]

  will to live [TS]

  never happens with the robot honest and [TS]

  that's a problem because in return of [TS]

  the jedi Alaska she remembers her mother [TS]

  just a little bit she says she died when [TS]

  I was very young [TS]

  yeah very young apparently you know what [TS]

  do you remember about her she says just [TS]

  images really feelings well she could [TS]

  have seen pictures of her because she [TS]

  was very beautiful kind but sad you you [TS]

  never spoke to her you never knew her [TS]

  and it's it's weird that if your mother [TS]

  died during childbirth that they would [TS]

  tell you when you know like it doesn't [TS]

  it doesn't make any sense [TS]

  so I is considered a retcon and it's a [TS]

  dumb retcon because by the time the [TS]

  prequels end we don't we don't need we [TS]

  don't need to see her die we know that [TS]

  she's had these twins and their split up [TS]

  and but you know she could die [TS]

  there's so many different ways you can [TS]

  die and decide you're gonna die you know [TS]

  because the plot says you're going to [TS]

  for reasons we won't get into with these [TS]

  terrible medical drugs that could be [TS]

  should be sued for malpractice across [TS]

  the galaxy because they're so bad at [TS]

  their job [TS]

  yeah it's a it's just upsetting you're [TS]

  right that is absolutely a retcon [TS]

  because I thought about that many times [TS]

  and in fact i have a pic later on my [TS]

  draft board that is related to this very [TS]

  idea so yes yes later remembers her [TS]

  mother and you could argue that maybe [TS]

  that that's a that's a her adopted [TS]

  mother if Jimmy Smits let's say he says [TS]

  he looks as your real mom I don't [TS]

  remember is already know it's you yeah [TS]

  it doesn't mail this ends nailed it [TS]

  absolutely agree a hundred plus the [TS]

  Padme stuff in episode 3 is terrible on [TS]

  so many different levels and and in this [TS]

  case totally unnecessary and contradicts [TS]

  the cannon what that that was that was [TS]

  also on my list are David what's your [TS]

  read con there's one big giant bullseye [TS]

  that I'm surprised it's still on the [TS]

  board but I couldn't leave it on the [TS]

  board because the one that drove me [TS]

  crazy was a red conning boba fett yes it [TS]

  did was was Boba Fett to cool did did we [TS]

  have to like give him this huge tragic [TS]

  backstory and make him a sad little [TS]

  whiny kid upset at the the Jedi for [TS]

  decapitating his dad wait a minute why [TS]

  he seems a little harsh I'd be sad if [TS]

  that happens [TS]

  we have true true but but did we need to [TS]

  see that isn't it ok free him to just be [TS]

  a bounty hunter [TS]

  I mean boba fett boba fett barely lived [TS]

  up to his hype in the original movies [TS]

  because you know he gets he gets the I [TS]

  keep it gets knocked into the Sarlacc [TS]

  goodness the Sarlacc thank you [TS]

  you know how pathetic is that he has [TS]

  like one really cool moment in the [TS]

  original movies but now you know he's [TS]

  just oh yeah let me tell you by the way [TS]

  just as an aside since we've been [TS]

  talking about red cards and changes of [TS]

  all the things they did return of the [TS]

  jedi how the hell did they not show a [TS]

  shot of Boba Fett cool crawling out of [TS]

  the Sarlacc that stage everybody wanted [TS]

  to see I don't do that [TS]

  boba fett doesn't need a tragic [TS]

  backstory can you not just be a bounty [TS]

  hunter does he have to have it pass [TS]

  intertwined with the rest of everybody [TS]

  in the universe whose in this movie [TS]

  no no he doesn't David Sparkes what's [TS]

  your worst redcon well thanks David I [TS]

  think you can help me out by not picking [TS]

  the obvious one because when I was nine [TS]

  years old when this movie came out i [TS]

  believe that i had the force inside of [TS]

  me i'm almost certain i moved to spoon [TS]

  I certainly tried enough and I always [TS]

  felt like it was this mystical thing and [TS]

  turns out you just need a blood test and [TS]

  if you got these midi-chlorians then you [TS]

  have the forest and if not tough luck [TS]

  buddy that just crushed me when I saw [TS]

  that that that was the point for me in [TS]

  episode one where i went from well maybe [TS]

  this will get better to know this is [TS]

  going to be a terrible experience for me [TS]

  and I have never recovered from that why [TS]

  on earth did they do that why did they [TS]

  have to put a blood test in for the [TS]

  force be add a little salt layer of [TS]

  science on your totally magic thing [TS]

  that's still totally magic but now it [TS]

  has some science on top of the magic [TS]

  I hate the midi-chlorian so much me that [TS]

  in my mind that I just pretend they [TS]

  don't exist and i bet you're never going [TS]

  to hear the word again and it's in [TS]

  movies [TS]

  I didn't have that on my list is not i'm [TS]

  a big mclaren defender but logically [TS]

  speaking it made some sense to me [TS]

  in that the force is strong in my family [TS]

  is a whole big thing it's inherited [TS]

  so if you have that you know it sounds [TS]

  like there should be a genetic component [TS]

  to it otherwise why would follow family [TS]

  lines and it also makes some vague kind [TS]

  of sense that in this earlier age when [TS]

  they were more Jedi around and it wasn't [TS]

  so mysterious that they had a better [TS]

  handle on [TS]

  hey this force is strong in your family [TS]

  and it's an inherited thing that we know [TS]

  how that works kind of the ages and that [TS]

  much earlier it's only like 18 years [TS]

  earlier [TS]

  you've got like Harry Potter right we're [TS]

  like you have bloodlines that have like [TS]

  Wizarding powers and in some ways that's [TS]

  done better than its time here because [TS]

  here they try to apply something stupid [TS]

  yeah i mean like the worst thing about [TS]

  it i think is that it's brought into the [TS]

  story as a more concrete version of what [TS]

  you already knew with that it's in [TS]

  hereditary but they never do anything [TS]

  with it no it's not as if that is [TS]

  pivotal to the rest of the story that is [TS]

  this important that in this universe we [TS]

  in this phase of history we know exactly [TS]

  how this works and sees midi-chlorians [TS]

  because that's not that's not part of [TS]

  the plot at all it's just like hey we [TS]

  can nail this down further and then move [TS]

  on with our dumb story i just feel like [TS]

  it would've been so much better if it [TS]

  didn't exist [TS]

  it just doesn't have anything I'd rather [TS]

  be so mysteriously it's not measurable [TS]

  it's something you you know people that [TS]

  can wield the force can feel it and [TS]

  other people but you can't take a blood [TS]

  test I don't know just a qualifying just [TS]

  defends me at so many levels [TS]

  I'm surprised they didn't show that [TS]

  scene in the force awakens where when [TS]

  Ray arrives at the rebel base she's [TS]

  immediately given a blood test for [TS]

  midi-chlorians strangely that didn't [TS]

  seem to happen [TS]

  dan what's your choice for worst redcon [TS]

  a lot of good the ones that are on my [TS]

  list of been taken off the table but i'm [TS]

  going to pick one that's a little weird [TS]

  but it bothered me a little bit and that [TS]

  is the stottah Lynn consistency and lack [TS]

  of understanding about force ghosts [TS]

  which is this thing right in the in the [TS]

  original trilogy you know we want dies [TS]

  his body disappears he shows up later as [TS]

  a ghost Yoda dies body disappear shows [TS]

  up later as ghosts or theater dies [TS]

  alright well we don't really know what [TS]

  happened there it's kind of weird be [TS]

  still shows up later as it goes like you [TS]

  about the body's gone only the suit is [TS]

  being cooked at that point again [TS]

  yeah I guess it's just a you wanna you [TS]

  wanna you wanna BBQ your suit is quite [TS]

  gone dies in episode 1 and not so much [TS]

  anything happens with that and as I [TS]

  recall is the time there was this whole [TS]

  question about it and they're like oh my [TS]

  god actually the one who figures out [TS]

  like he can become a force ghost and [TS]

  you'll see that later [TS]

  it never gets gone back into EndNote in [TS]

  the prequels it gets alluded to in clone [TS]

  wars i believe a and even then and [TS]

  rebels i think a little bit too maybe [TS]

  and even then it doesn't entirely make [TS]

  sense and so it's kind of weird because [TS]

  you have this whole idea and I guess [TS]

  they decided well why aren't there are a [TS]

  million Jedi ghost running around all [TS]

  the time which does seem to present its [TS]

  own problems but I always felt like it [TS]

  just bothered me that they're like me [TS]

  all the Jedi in the original trilogy [TS]

  seem to be able to do this and none of [TS]

  the Jedi in you in the prequel seem to [TS]

  be able to do this and what what why [TS]

  like you know again I don't want stuff [TS]

  over explain like oh they had a really [TS]

  high midi-chlorian count i guess they [TS]

  could do this but you know the idea even [TS]

  that there was some sort of discipline [TS]

  or whatever that they learned that allow [TS]

  them to do this it just it's weird it's [TS]

  weird inconsistent and I felt like they [TS]

  tried to say oh no we totally know why [TS]

  that is and then like never actually [TS]

  explain why it was so well I realize [TS]

  that's a little nitpicky but it was [TS]

  either that or their pronunciation of [TS]

  course aunt which I hate it when and [TS]

  kind of related redcon for me with the [TS]

  force ghost is you know why is it in the [TS]

  new return of the jedi that you know why [TS]

  is it Alec Guinness and old Yoda and [TS]

  hayden christensen yeah doesn't make any [TS]

  sense why is before this gray truck did [TS]

  David obviously there's a lot of [TS]

  questions about like if you lose your [TS]

  arm in real life and then you become a [TS]

  force ghost do you get your arm back [TS]

  that I think are left are left [TS]

  unanswered but the having a you die in [TS]

  the game dude I don't realize it [TS]

  guys this is all covered in that [TS]

  youngling Jedi class [TS]

  okay good uh I i think the reality is [TS]

  that Lucas didn't really know what to do [TS]

  with the if you strike me down I shall [TS]

  become more powerful than you probably [TS]

  could possibly imagine and was like yeah [TS]

  we'll just [TS]

  finesse that not talking about hatch he [TS]

  doesn't see that powerful voice overs [TS]

  and he whispers at people that's his [TS]

  best for very inspirational do you feel [TS]

  like he's dissing Anakin's imagination [TS]

  there's like yeah you suck it Matt [TS]

  yonder you're gonna be ghosts whispering [TS]

  and Luke's here [TS]

  yeah okay you got me that he was pivotal [TS]

  to the for the trench shoring up his [TS]

  look in theory would have missed if you [TS]

  just tried to use the computer so Ben's [TS]

  like some the district and I really good [TS]

  time if you strike me down I will become [TS]

  more pivotal than you can possibly that [TS]

  it was it was just a mistranslation [TS]

  there was no way he was gonna fit in the [TS]

  x-wing behind Luke whispering to him [TS]

  like so he had to be a ghost in order [TS]

  for that to work but his force ghost [TS]

  helped it go into the right spot to [TS]

  that's house although that was all Luke [TS]

  Luke you know you gotta slow the film [TS]

  down you can see ghostly Alec Guinness [TS]

  out there pushing the torpedo sideways [TS]

  yeah that's right yeah and I'd also [TS]

  argue that you him getting them to yoga [TS]

  was super important to her but oh yeah [TS]

  either but your phone kind of phone that [TS]

  one is like going to do system.out [TS]

  vastly that fast power more than you can [TS]

  imagine but not really anyway I here's [TS]

  mine a lot of good choices here I think [TS]

  the one that I'm gonna go with that's [TS]

  left on the board is in the original [TS]

  trilogy obi-wan tells Luke your father [TS]

  was a great pilot when I met him there [TS]

  is a serious implication that obi-wan [TS]

  meets Anakin Skywalker when they are [TS]

  young men and then episode one comes and [TS]

  not only do they meet when he's just a [TS]

  little kid but that little kid now [TS]

  because of that dialogue has to already [TS]

  be a great pilot from which we get [TS]

  podracing and the accident launch of the [TS]

  spaceship that he flies around and all [TS]

  these other completely ridiculous things [TS]

  that happen completely ruining the idea [TS]

  that they met as young men and he was [TS]

  already an established pilot at that [TS]

  point and instead now he's a child [TS]

  prodigy slave kid from a desert planet [TS]

  who somehow has become a great pilot [TS]

  because mid maybe midi-chlorians I don't [TS]

  know maybe they work that way on his day [TS]

  off from being a slave he takes flying [TS]

  lessons clearly plus it totally screwed [TS]

  the you and mcgregor kind [TS]

  screen with a little bit because he's [TS]

  clearly supposed to be much younger in [TS]

  episode 1 than he actually is right like [TS]

  I think he's supposed to be like a [TS]

  teenager essentially yeah because their [TS]

  day when he gets older they see and and [TS]

  Anakin end up being more like peers [TS]

  right and yet if if you you and McGregor [TS]

  is his actual age there which is [TS]

  probably like 30 probably like it [TS]

  doesn't really make any sense anymore [TS]

  yeah well it's like I'm $1 age it goes [TS]

  back to live Lucas's misguided concept [TS]

  for episode 1 which was Colette show [TS]

  Anakin when he's like a eight-year-old [TS]

  kid and it's just a huge it's a huge [TS]

  mistake and everything else comes out of [TS]

  that decision but this is an example [TS]

  where like it's very clear and dialogue [TS]

  you can you can fake it and so they did [TS]

  fake it but there's no way that this is [TS]

  what was intended and what was supposed [TS]

  to be in people's minds when when that [TS]

  dialogue is in the first movie hate it [TS]

  hate it [TS]

  yeah let's move on to round 3 in this [TS]

  round I'm going to ask you to pick [TS]

  something that's dumb [TS]

  in the original trilogy and and I i'm [TS]

  going to specify before it was meddled [TS]

  with something that's original to the [TS]

  original trilogy that you think maybe [TS]

  it's not so good [TS]

  Monty now people have internalised [TS]

  justifications for this but they are [TS]

  wrong [TS]

  ok wen Han Solo says the Millennium [TS]

  Falcon made the Kessel run on left and [TS]

  follow our sex that is not because he [TS]

  was good at navigating near black holes [TS]

  that wasn't because he was delivering to [TS]

  moving ships it's because George Lucas [TS]

  doesn't know what a parsec is I'm sure [TS]

  he does now and I don't receive any way [TS]

  they put they put the Kessel run in 12 [TS]

  parsecs line into the force awakens just [TS]

  to Jabba people like me but it's just a [TS]

  fundamental mistake and for all the [TS]

  times they've messed with the dialogue [TS]

  to fix things they could have fixed this [TS]

  it's just dumb are 64 distance not time [TS]

  you know if they fix that I would have [TS]

  been one of the things I complain about [TS]

  them [TS]

  no there's no pleasing everybody agree [TS]

  especially me [TS]

  it's just sort of two too late to fix it [TS]

  it's become kind of iconic which is why [TS]

  it's great that they do that reference [TS]

  in the force awakens but yeah [TS]

  anybody who knows anything about like [TS]

  astronomy knows [TS]

  parsecs is distance it's a but the [TS]

  retcon like the right kind of the [TS]

  nerdiest of all red cons because it can [TS]

  be read con because you can say well you [TS]

  just assume that the run that what you [TS]

  want to do on a run is doing the least [TS]

  amount of time but that's that's you [TS]

  know that's just your assumption in fact [TS]

  and then they you know yeah it and [TS]

  explain away right with Lucan all the [TS]

  details of that clearly Harrison Ford [TS]

  learn this line phonetically and [TS]

  assuming that it made sense my own head [TS]

  Canon is that he says it and obi-wan [TS]

  gives them this look like yeah pull the [TS]

  other one like he's testing them to see [TS]

  how much they actually know about flying [TS]

  at the speakership when I realized that [TS]

  is totally headcanon yeah i'll be want [TS]

  to chew our old pals so they don't even [TS]

  need that yeah that's not my god why [TS]

  pick that well ok John something that's [TS]

  done in the original trilogy actually [TS]

  had trouble trying to think of this [TS]

  because I have something that feels [TS]

  about Derek original trilogy that like I [TS]

  mean because it's phrased as dumb right [TS]

  yeah and so there's not much the dome [TS]

  where technology except interpreted as [TS]

  you want [TS]

  I handful of things but everything is [TS]

  the robot could be a robot you never [TS]

  know to just take a shot my number one [TS]

  is no metal for Chuy yep I why is that [TS]

  dumb [TS]

  um so there's is the obvious things like [TS]

  looking there's a certain number of [TS]

  people who are up there on the stage who [TS]

  were pivotal in the victory here and [TS]

  they're getting medals and she is there [TS]

  and he is important is the copilot [TS]

  Millennium Falcon I was pivotal to the [TS]

  victory right to let Luke take the shot [TS]

  but no metal for him and it just kind of [TS]

  feels kind of a not racist butts pcs [TS]

  whatever the word is 44 [TS]

  it's racist no spaces yeah space races [TS]

  know right but more broadly like no [TS]

  metal for Chuy's is the the capsule [TS]

  summary this but more broadly in the end [TS]

  of a new hope it's a celebratory endings [TS]

  you're supposed to feel happy that they [TS]

  blew up the Death Star but two ended in [TS]

  a medal ceremony is a little on the nose [TS]

  like a lot of people died during the [TS]

  assault on the Death Star and the rebels [TS]

  are victorious but it is is the right [TS]

  note to be like forget all those people [TS]

  had died reward the [TS]

  two heroes of the movie with like with [TS]

  metals like and they're so happy to get [TS]

  the metals and they're just smiling and [TS]

  I mean it should be a little bit more [TS]

  someone saying they should have like a [TS]

  down or anything like oh all the rebels [TS]

  have died because we have a vampire for [TS]

  that but just just thinking about the [TS]

  medal ceremony in general made me think [TS]

  that but if you're gonna have a medal [TS]

  ceremony two against one [TS]

  he's standing right there put around his [TS]

  neck so it's not like they have even won [TS]

  the whole war right like that's kinda [TS]

  kind of celebrating before before they [TS]

  really put the cap on it [TS]

  there are Millennials they need to get [TS]

  rewarded after everything jury yeah you [TS]

  did such a good job long up at that star [TS]

  but the tester could kill a planet i [TS]

  think they are entitled to a little [TS]

  ceremony little ceremony I just feel [TS]

  like it's at odds with him being like a [TS]

  scrappy little rebellion they've got [TS]

  like everybody lined up they've got this [TS]

  very like procedure this protocol [TS]

  they've taken the time to make metals [TS]

  can't they melt that down and use it for [TS]

  war material and some sort on it was [TS]

  like going to go into like the school [TS]

  play but your kids not in it you just [TS]

  gotta stand there at attention with all [TS]

  time that went slowly because the metals [TS]

  around these two people's necks and they [TS]

  just don't get the truth is everyone [TS]

  just wants to leave she should at least [TS]

  get a participation trophy the solemn [TS]

  memory of like memorial for those who [TS]

  died in the mission that happened before [TS]

  we we cut to that in the slideshow [TS]

  showing Porkins yeah it's alright hold [TS]

  your applause till the end didn't chewy [TS]

  probably fire the laser shot that sent [TS]

  Darth Vader spinning away from the Death [TS]

  Star [TS]

  I think that's what's under spinning [TS]

  away was the other type of them into the [TS]

  laser shot the ways it's right there was [TS]

  a bank shot is a bit of a bank shut the [TS]

  laser had one tie fighter than you know [TS]

  typewriter saw that his friend had [TS]

  swerved off course and he freaked out [TS]

  and bumped into her later yep [TS]

  really boy that's major was a much [TS]

  better pilot when he was a young kid [TS]

  yeah turns out alright David something [TS]

  that's done in the original trilogy [TS]

  well my my wife went because I i sent [TS]

  all these to my wife because she was [TS]

  always the bigger star wars fan in the [TS]

  house and of course the prequels killed [TS]

  that she's totally done now and but I [TS]

  said you know here's some things and her [TS]

  her first reaction was he walks and i [TS]

  said no i'm not saying he walks know [TS]

  my-my one dumb thing is [TS]

  is again boba fett slamed us i mean even [TS]

  in the original trilogy you know all the [TS]

  hype we had for him and and all of all [TS]

  when he really acts cool when he's [TS]

  really effective is in the holiday [TS]

  special in the cartoon and in the movies [TS]

  he's pretty much he's standing around he [TS]

  gets his orders he standing around again [TS]

  he doesn't exactly capture anybody and [TS]

  then he gets knocked into the Sarlacc [TS]

  pit you're selling short he an empire he [TS]

  has this time the sunday he they have a [TS]

  group of bounty hunters who are tasked [TS]

  with this and the group bounty hunters [TS]

  presumably goes out to try to do what [TS]

  they're all tasked with doing but he's [TS]

  the only one who knows [TS]

  did see that the console is going to [TS]

  flow with the garbage he is clever and [TS]

  he is a worthy adversary for harm but [TS]

  the only thing he did was hide in the [TS]

  garbage and everything yeah yeah he [TS]

  didn't he didn't actually capture [TS]

  anybody when they get to cloud city [TS]

  there's Vader you know I mean there's no [TS]

  no well you know what he did his job was [TS]

  no one else could find him and he was [TS]

  smart it shows him being that the [TS]

  smartest and most capable of the bounty [TS]

  hunters and a Jedi a totally undercuts [TS]

  that but and then he gets knocked into a [TS]

  monster by a blind guy he actually is [TS]

  accidentally partnership in the garbage [TS]

  chute it was definitely all right [TS]

  Boba Fett is a yeah you know return to [TS]

  China he's not so great he is he's good [TS]

  at Empire Sparky what is your pick [TS]

  um like John i love these movies so much [TS]

  the original moves this was a hard one [TS]

  for me to but because i watch them off [TS]

  and there's one logic problem i have [TS]

  every time i watch the movie they leave [TS]

  the Death Star and Leia says they're [TS]

  tracking us that was too easy so then [TS]

  let's go straight to the rebel hideout [TS]

  if I think what why did they do that [TS]

  why didn't they go get a different ship [TS]

  or you know I don't understand why if he [TS]

  knew they were tracking us straight to [TS]

  the plate the last place in the universe [TS]

  you want them to find no one listens the [TS]

  women that's why they're tracking us [TS]

  yeah okay alright I think about that [TS]

  every time because the whole reason the [TS]

  Death Star is about to blow up their [TS]

  their moon is because they went back [TS]

  there they let them and they know it and [TS]

  they know it and they still go back [TS]

  there but the only one who knows those [TS]

  land she is not able to convince the [TS]

  others he says you call that easy [TS]

  it's gonna don't forget it i think [TS]

  that's it's the third act they should [TS]

  have just gone somewhere in like retire [TS]

  heard settle down in Iceland moon well [TS]

  they could they could like a ditch the [TS]

  rebellion you do it staged the falken [TS]

  briefly and I searched it or deactivate [TS]

  which the falken what you just said mind [TS]

  the park it somewhere in a junkyard and [TS]

  then get back later I don't know I'm [TS]

  sorry ginger said that was too easy but [TS]

  didn't go the extra step of saying [TS]

  they're tracking us so you know they [TS]

  didn't believe her once they arrived at [TS]

  the rebel base and layers if not in [TS]

  charge at least one of the bigwigs in [TS]

  command she could have said now that [TS]

  we've landed please have your tech crews [TS]

  come on board and search for tracking [TS]

  devices name is probably that too late [TS]

  it's not too late because apparently the [TS]

  death star can go from system to system [TS]

  but once against the system it takes at [TS]

  least what 10-15 minutes at getting [TS]

  inside of the road hyperspace is not [TS]

  precise like that [TS]

  well there's an intern who jumped them [TS]

  into the wrong side of the system that's [TS]

  right that's like asking to take us like [TS]

  what at least 25 minutes that the inside [TS]

  of the rebel base just enough time for a [TS]

  trench run again ah damn what's a dumb [TS]

  thing from the original trilogy alright [TS]

  okay i had a lot of trouble with this 12 [TS]

  we're making it hard Monty suggested [TS]

  this because he's a monster and I think [TS]

  that exercise for everyone [TS]

  he's on monkeys on my monster list now [TS]

  it's because i feel bad for the special [TS]

  editions and the prequels which had many [TS]

  people working on them and all they get [TS]

  is dumped on I want the old movies [TS]

  dumped on cap [TS]

  ok so here's what i came up with it's [TS]

  actually fairly big one but i think it [TS]

  and maybe people will be able divided on [TS]

  this but i think the the thing that [TS]

  bothers me one of the most about the [TS]

  original trilogy is the Lucani a love [TS]

  triangle [TS]

  yeah that's on my list for exactly the [TS]

  reasons I think we all like realize [TS]

  which is that George Lucas once again [TS]

  did not know what he was setting out to [TS]

  do when he started this off and so yeah [TS]

  it makes a certain amount of sense to [TS]

  have Luke you know catapult across the [TS]

  galaxy by this you know beautiful young [TS]

  woman etc but like the whole especially [TS]

  when that it goes up a notch in empire [TS]

  with the kiss like it for everybody who [TS]

  seemed like the first time I guess your [TS]

  watch that you'll be like oh that's fine [TS]

  like not knowing what's coming next but [TS]

  the million times that you really watch [TS]

  it after that it's just awkward [TS]

  every single time and it's not even that [TS]

  convincing of a love triangle because [TS]

  like honestly once that part passes [TS]

  is like II nobody's really under any [TS]

  illusions that lady is gonna end up with [TS]

  anybody other than Han Solo I feel like [TS]

  and you know it provides some tension [TS]

  towards the end but like you know that [TS]

  even that last scene where the way [TS]

  explain sohan that Lucas his brother [TS]

  like he's are like starts smiling but at [TS]

  the same time you feel like you maybe [TS]

  should be a little bit more disturbed [TS]

  about it so I don't know it struck me as [TS]

  a no and I understand you know this is a [TS]

  saga there's the romance and epic and [TS]

  you know I think it's unnecessary [TS]

  I think they could have been executed in [TS]

  a way that did not necessarily leave you [TS]

  with that awkward taste in your mouth at [TS]

  the end of the of the trilogy and so I [TS]

  also don't think it provides anything [TS]

  super interesting in terms of luke and [TS]

  Hans characters when it comes to that [TS]

  like I don't think you know it provides [TS]

  enough tension that it feels like it [TS]

  provides interesting drama [TS]

  it just sort of provides a weird [TS]

  obstacle that seems very artificial and [TS]

  you know most of all as i said like [TS]

  George Lucas they clearly didn't plan [TS]

  this one up front it feels like and so [TS]

  it makes for some very awkward awkward [TS]

  scenes and I can never stop imagining [TS]

  this like just thinking about the [TS]

  sponsor of the mind's eye book and well [TS]

  yeah Luke is like daydreaming about haha [TS]

  so it makes it so awkward so very [TS]

  awkward so I feel like you there's a [TS]

  better way to execute on some of the [TS]

  ideas that need to happen from this [TS]

  without having to get as involved in [TS]

  this really really awkward love triangle [TS]

  but it's like it I can give it a pass in [TS]

  episode 4 episode 5 they should have had [TS]

  it all figured out and they should have [TS]

  known that doesn't make sense it is on a [TS]

  blood test guys haha you have a lot of [TS]

  midi-chlorians and you're related and [TS]

  it's only briefly it's only kind of [TS]

  alluded to an empire right because it's [TS]

  just the Yoda there is another line he [TS]

  doesn't find out she's actually a sister [TS]

  until yeah but don't you think that [TS]

  helps a lot like this that I think that [TS]

  helps me a lot of it like that the the [TS]

  revelation that the kissing and the [TS]

  revelation don't happen in the same [TS]

  movie that they they have the first [TS]

  movie we got nothing [TS]

  they got the second movie where you got [TS]

  kissing and a reference but still still [TS]

  nothing and then they wait to the whole [TS]

  third movie which yes does ripple [TS]

  backward in time make you think the case [TS]

  is creepy but its way [TS]

  better dribble back in time for 93 1982 [TS]

  rebel back from you know two hours into [TS]

  the movie 2 30 minutes the problem is [TS]

  obi-wan is there the whole time and [TS]

  knows all of us doesn't tell me ya guys [TS]

  come on [TS]

  agreed and well you know he's a force [TS]

  ghost but he's got places to go to I [TS]

  mean he's not there or you wouldn't like [TS]

  us don't have time for that extra sense [TS]

  go to take a bar by the way later Susan [TS]

  was just waving supermarkets like oh and [TS]

  i gotta stop off here you know you must [TS]

  go today was an ok I'm but this market [TS]

  are two could have told them once he [TS]

  knows once Luke knows he sits on that [TS]

  information while they go off on [TS]

  definition it's just like okay yeah just [TS]

  ask me about it again sometime [TS]

  oh yeah that's that's why hon finds out [TS]

  you know he's my brother his first [TS]

  question should have been ok how long [TS]

  have you had this information is known [TS]

  as the entire time I've known you or did [TS]

  you find out like three seasons ago [TS]

  because that's important as for everyone [TS]

  maybe he had a really attractive sister [TS]

  too [TS]

  we don't know boy uh hey Joe [TS]

  tell me something that's dumb in the [TS]

  original trilogy ok well i am just go [TS]

  with something probably doesn't bother a [TS]

  lot of people but at Luke's Luke's [TS]

  planned to rescue hahn at the beginning [TS]

  of Return of the Jedi doesn't make a [TS]

  tremendous amount of sense to me when I [TS]

  tried a diagram out the order of how [TS]

  these things were supposed to go [TS]

  including the part where Lando and [TS]

  Chewbacca went to Jabba's palace and [TS]

  c3po even has a line at the beginning [TS]

  like though they never returned from [TS]

  this awful place only Chewbacca is not [TS]

  there and he seemingly never was but [TS]

  Lando infiltrated it and then she [TS]

  becomes later and so now Luke is risking [TS]

  four of his friends and then lay also [TS]

  comes in and then Luke finally also [TS]

  comes in it's just like this seems [TS]

  really dangerous for a lot of reasons [TS]

  because they're there's all kinds of [TS]

  things that could have happened [TS]

  something tripped and fell and died [TS]

  you don't you know if they was it is [TS]

  really precarious formal logic [TS]

  perspective java could have just had [TS]

  enough of c-3po and and killed him like [TS]

  pretty abruptly to hit him a couple [TS]

  times but it it doesn't seem like this [TS]

  was well thought out at all it just [TS]

  seems like the kind of thing [TS]

  you would construct if you just wanted [TS]

  to like keep bumping up the detention [TS]

  for how dire the Straits were getting [TS]

  for them and guess what I do [TS]

  yeah just why there aren't very many of [TS]

  them left [TS]

  that's a really bad plan a part of the [TS]

  plot point is that Luke is overconfident [TS]

  to this point he is he is cocky as [TS]

  compared to him and his low point in [TS]

  Empire when he comes in the jedis like [TS]

  he is totally he's talking about [TS]

  everybody there that you don't know what [TS]

  I could do it you know he finds out [TS]

  pretty quickly it is in over his head he [TS]

  goes into the rancor pit and everything [TS]

  like that but I feel like that's part of [TS]

  the things that he's got this big [TS]

  elaborate plan kind of us gets rewarded [TS]

  for his bad behavior though because [TS]

  everything kind of works out yet he is a [TS]

  pretty powerful Jedi need that had [TS]

  didn't have a reasonably good planning [TS]

  and backup plans right he's got a lot of [TS]

  people a lot of skill people in motion [TS]

  here he's got his lightsaber hidden in [TS]

  r2 and he's got backup plans that you [TS]

  don't we [TS]

  he doesn't his number one plan of [TS]

  negotiating doesn't work his number to [TS]

  plan of just killing job that doesn't [TS]

  work but he's got many backups I don't [TS]

  think it was that poorly executed but i [TS]

  think it goes badly as part of the idea [TS]

  that Luke it may be as little [TS]

  overconfident now our to eventually I'm [TS]

  going to be on a diving board here's [TS]

  what I want you to do exactly just flown [TS]

  the lightsaber over to him in any point [TS]

  well yeah it's just that part strains [TS]

  credulity because it's just like was so [TS]

  he knew that he would need to go up to [TS]

  the top of the sailing barge right then [TS]

  and fire the ladies watches paying [TS]

  attention to what's got you don't do [TS]

  anything to take away from our to [TS]

  shooting lightsaber from there and him [TS]

  catching off the diving board because [TS]

  that is a pivotal moment in my childhood [TS]

  you can take that away a might tell me [TS]

  that's not cool it's cool it's cool all [TS]

  images terrible plan I hey I just you [TS]

  know when you think about it i just [TS]

  wonder who built the astromech droid [TS]

  with a lightsaber ejector attachment is [TS]

  all you can actually plan to be a job a [TS]

  swimming pool and like that was with the [TS]

  whole originally the other part you can [TS]

  also serve drinks so here's a lot of [TS]

  attachments [TS]

  all right i'll let me give you mine and [TS]

  then we'll and then we'll move on to the [TS]

  next category of mine maybe slightly [TS]

  controversial but here it is so Yoda you [TS]

  know in in Empire Strikes Back everybody [TS]

  loves Yoda day and they made a puppet [TS]

  and everybody likes Yoda it's a puppet [TS]

  character but it's pretty cool [TS]

  the vehicle [TS]

  great job and I feel like maybe they [TS]

  said this is great [TS]

  you know we should do let's have more [TS]

  puppets let's put more puppets in to [TS]

  return of the jedi and I think there are [TS]

  too many puppets and return of the jedi [TS]

  I also there's some different people in [TS]

  suits to like I think Admiral Ackbar is [TS]

  more of a guy in a suit then he is a [TS]

  puppet [TS]

  so I'm okay with it the one back bar top [TS]

  it's not even close to know he's a guy [TS]

  in a suit exact he is a piece of puppet [TS]

  is your puppet [TS]

  I thought it was more his part easily he [TS]

  is at least kind of people over sand [TS]

  puppet his head is where leaves a small [TS]

  wedding that Sonny is man's hand [TS]

  ok so it's hard to love with someone and [TS]

  someone is operating lots of parties [TS]

  react or guys okay you guys are [TS]

  deconstructing my intro so let me [TS]

  continue but the weird thing that [TS]

  happened is that the one will get there [TS]

  John but the one that gets me is uh [TS]

  Lando's copilot nyan um on the money in [TS]

  the exciting battle of endor where we've [TS]

  got a really stupid looking puppet in [TS]

  the copilot's seat of the millennium [TS]

  falcon no no no make it somebody I you [TS]

  know make it something better than a [TS]

  dumb puppet so I think [TS]

  dumb puppet so I think [TS]

  that that's that that's why would I say [TS]

  is the dumb thing from the from the [TS]

  original trilogy dumb puppet in the [TS]

  copilot's seat of the Millennium Falcon [TS]

  I just mean articulated faces like his [TS]

  little motor moving his little lip [TS]

  because i'm pretty sure that's a guy you [TS]

  know you're dressed up with the thing on [TS]

  his head [TS]

  yeah I think that's like guys more men [TS]

  than puppet both a puppeteer Andy [TS]

  costumed actor during the film [TS]

  good lord that you wouldn't give him a [TS]

  medal either which I would not give him [TS]

  a tune in next week for puppet or not [TS]

  yeah haha anyway I don't I I never like [TS]

  that character I think he looks dumb and [TS]

  I don't want him in that seat and I [TS]

  don't know why they did it [TS]

  other than that they fought hey its star [TS]

  wars we got lots of weird puppet / [TS]

  people in suits [TS]

  let's have more of those and that's fine [TS]

  but that's not a good way to someone for [TS]

  Lando to talk to and to talk back in the [TS]

  same way that she does which is you know [TS]

  indecipherable e action figures [TS]

  yeah it and there's that episode of [TS]

  venture brothers where they conjure one [TS]

  up from a trading card so you know you [TS]

  went on to have a prestigious career [TS]

  after this I don't like him [TS]

  there it is I said it wasn't around for [TS]

  an item from ancillary media something [TS]

  that's not the main line films that you [TS]

  just can't take John alright you would [TS]

  think that i'm going to pick the holiday [TS]

  special which is terrible but i'm not [TS]

  going to somebody else talk about i'm [TS]

  going to pick item from answer me that [TS]

  you just can't take i'm going to select [TS]

  the prequels because I consider a mac [TS]

  and their crap [TS]

  yea big swing and I've said we've [TS]

  already done three episodes lot about [TS]

  that maybe the key point is viewing them [TS]

  as ancillary media is that is the stance [TS]

  of most original trilogy fanatics [TS]

  alright I'll allow it because why not [TS]

  uh-buh-bye not David I'm going to take [TS]

  kind of a similar view and just say all [TS]

  of the novels i just i have i have a [TS]

  rebuttal on my turn right there's just [TS]

  not a single novel that was satisfying [TS]

  all the way through or interesting or [TS]

  sounded right it's every one of them [TS]

  just and I read too many of them I [TS]

  didn't learn even even the ones that are [TS]

  quote unquote the good ones can't stand [TS]

  them [TS]

  the the throne trilogy can't stand it [TS]

  i'm sorry it's just David get out so [TS]

  yeah the the only novel that amuses me [TS]

  at all this splinter the mind's eye but [TS]

  it's not because it's good [TS]

  did you read the any of the collection [TS]

  of short stories like tales from MOS [TS]

  eisley or tails from Jabba's palace that [TS]

  get backstories to all the people in [TS]

  there [TS]

  I did not read those but i have heard [TS]

  good things about them and they're not [TS]

  novel around on novel haha he's got you [TS]

  there huh yeah they start over every few [TS]

  pages it's helpful right it's marks [TS]

  ancillary item you can take well i'm [TS]

  going to talk about books a little bit [TS]

  more the I I like some of the novels and [TS]

  especially during the what I call the [TS]

  dark ages where you know there was no [TS]

  star wars for a very long time the [TS]

  timothy zahn novels actually I thought [TS]

  were great because it was new Star Wars [TS]

  and I was very hungry for new Star Wars [TS]

  but the problem was i started reading [TS]

  them all and I got into some that were [TS]

  just terrible and the ones that stand [TS]

  out to me as the absolute worst ever [TS]

  written about Star Wars was the Yuuzhan [TS]

  Vong novels and I don't know anybody [TS]

  here when that deep into the stack is I [TS]

  did but the third is horrible it's a [TS]

  it's like a villain from another galaxy [TS]

  it's almost it's like a bad Star Trek [TS]

  episode imposed on Star Wars and i only [TS]

  want to talk about the details of it but [TS]

  I read two or three of them and I said [TS]

  no more no more [TS]

  well I read this so if you're out there [TS]

  and you think about these on rondavels i [TS]

  would get rid of them at an enlightening [TS]

  or a happy moment is that i just looked [TS]

  it up on wikipedia and said when Star [TS]

  Wars Canon was changed Yuuzhan Vong were [TS]

  rendered non-canon so now they have been [TS]

  them removed soviet-style from Star Wars [TS]

  I should amend the Han Solo novels from [TS]

  the late seventies are not bad but the [TS]

  land o colors are novels a great really [TS]

  bad keep digging David Orlando ones are [TS]

  hilarious because they were super high [TS]

  dam ok well now we're trying to decide [TS]

  if if David basically just sniped mine i [TS]

  had a specific one in mind and I don't [TS]

  know if that I'm going to turn to the [TS]

  judge for a ruling on that one or did he [TS]

  just blanket all of those this is a [TS]

  silly round so just do what makes you [TS]

  feel good to me ok so it's likely [TS]

  david i read i read many of the novel's [TS]

  basically all the way through and i [TS]

  really like the thrawn trilogy that has [TS]

  a very special place in my teenage life [TS]

  because it was in that dark period where [TS]

  there was no more star wars and I've [TS]

  gone back and reread those several times [TS]

  I'll admit they're not the greatest in [TS]

  the world but i just i love them their [TS]

  guilty pleasures i read basically [TS]

  everything all the way up to the very [TS]

  first of this new jedi order as the [TS]

  Yuuzhan Vong storyline is called and [TS]

  typical vector prime x ra salvatore II [TS]

  was necessary everybody DNT novels and [TS]

  the most degrees i read I i made it [TS]

  probably within 50 pages of the end and [TS]

  at that point and David David probably [TS]

  knows exactly what i'm talking about [TS]

  point they kill chewy and I was so angry [TS]

  about that I literally it's at the end [TS]

  of a chapter I closed the book did not [TS]

  finish it and did not read another star [TS]

  wars book for probably a decade after [TS]

  that because i was so upset that they [TS]

  had killed Chewbacca who is one of my [TS]

  favorite characters for like she liked [TS]

  saves one of Hans kids or something and [TS]

  he's left on a planet that explodes it's [TS]

  really dumb do and so I got so angry [TS]

  about that like for a long time I just [TS]

  was not like reading star wars or even [TS]

  like I think that was planned when I [TS]

  came out late nineties i want to say or [TS]

  maybe around 2,000 so is also maybe [TS]

  around the prequels time and at that [TS]

  point I was like I'm so done with [TS]

  everything so that was like my my [TS]

  darkest part of my star wars history is [TS]

  because they kill Chewbacca in the novel [TS]

  that is why i will never read another ra [TS]

  salvatore ebook ever I've never read a [TS]

  Star Wars Expanded Universe novel at all [TS]

  and the extended universe books killing [TS]

  off to it was on my list [TS]

  yeah because i know that's the thing [TS]

  that happened I'm like wait a second you [TS]

  can't kill chewy you don't even count [TS]

  stupid extended universe books that I've [TS]

  never read and the rationale was that [TS]

  like they wanted to like raise the [TS]

  stakes and like make it seem like nobody [TS]

  is safe and like like david says these [TS]

  are terrible like Star Trek II Star Wars [TS]

  novels that really make no sense [TS]

  whatsoever and it was just a terrible [TS]

  decision on the Lucasfilm marketing [TS]

  department good news everybody he's [TS]

  alive and all that got wiped out of [TS]

  existence i was so happy about that yeah [TS]

  joe i'm going to pick the Ewok movies [TS]

  yeah I don't I I couldn't you couldn't [TS]

  even articulate the plot lines of what [TS]

  was what I've seen in them because i [TS]

  haven't gone back to watch them at all [TS]

  I have recommended a couple times that [TS]

  you guys should do that for [TS]

  uncomfortable episodes of you guys at [TS]

  the holiday special but you are not [TS]

  tonight it there they're just just [TS]

  there's kids there's kids and they have [TS]

  an adventure with Ewoks that's why i [TS]

  remember i don't like children in [TS]

  general I especially don't like child [TS]

  actors and putting them in a film with [TS]

  little furry creatures they can't really [TS]

  talk it's just a recipe for disaster [TS]

  yeah yeah they're bad they were they [TS]

  were beaten for those who don't know [TS]

  they're like a TV movie made-for-tv [TS]

  movies featuring the Ewoks I have [TS]

  memories of watching them as a kid [TS]

  well that's what that's what they were [TS]

  going for his little little kids you [TS]

  were the target I can't but I I honestly [TS]

  remember very little about it at this [TS]

  point even though I'm sure I saw each of [TS]

  those movies a couple times i can [TS]

  remember a couple of scenes here and [TS]

  there i think i've seen it multiple [TS]

  times I must've aired it multiple times [TS]

  and I'm sure everything I have a tape [TS]

  but I remember like it yeah i might have [TS]

  had it on tape to remember like you know [TS]

  being offensive to me as a kid but not [TS]

  feeling at all like star wars in any [TS]

  possible way was incredibly [TS]

  disappointing for something advertised [TS]

  as being somehow related to star wars [TS]

  and I recognized he walks like i get i [TS]

  get that connection but otherwise there [TS]

  is no star wars in there [TS]

  yeah what wicket was there you know they [TS]

  have work Davis and it's just it was a [TS]

  waste of time [TS]

  yep so narrated by burr lives of course [TS]

  you can't go wrong with / lives [TS]

  narrating your think Monty ancillary [TS]

  item this is a bit of a stretch know [TS]

  what you said this is the silly i have a [TS]

  sensible answer to it this get rejected [TS]

  but I'm going to distract use the word [TS]

  media covers a lot of different things [TS]

  there's films there's books is a food [TS]

  item action figures [TS]

  specifically you know those holes in the [TS]

  bottom of the action figures right on [TS]

  the heel that are supposed to attach [TS]

  them to the place as they stand up they [TS]

  don't work [TS]

  Ibaka is always falling down and furious [TS]

  and those holes [TS]

  I'm not [TS]

  when you're talking about they don't [TS]

  work fine it's jammed in here right on [TS]

  there you have to put a little forced [TS]

  into it [TS]

  temperature management or I never wanted [TS]

  a little bit [TS]

  those holes are awful okay yeah just [TS]

  make action figures that stand-up method [TS]

  and I were definitely on the technology [TS]

  of the nineteen eighties solid Monty i'm [TS]

  going to give you that one because [TS]

  that's that because I get to pick next [TS]

  and that means that you can take mine so [TS]

  i am going to sweep it sweep in there [TS]

  and I'm gonna say yes the star wars [TS]

  holiday special [TS]

  he has to be included here but I'm not [TS]

  gonna just pick the whole thing because [TS]

  that seems like a little too easy i'm [TS]

  gonna i'm gonna also specify the fact [TS]

  that in the Star Wars Holiday Special we [TS]

  learn that there's one key porn [TS]

  yeah yeah it's very important Jason come [TS]

  on and it's out by the way it's not porn [TS]

  for humans about wookies it's porn for [TS]

  walkies [TS]

  yeah bring humans beach around about [TS]

  human about humans [TS]

  yeah a little weird yeah you're like [TS]

  shaped cookies you think well it's [TS]

  finally finished the workers have just [TS]

  the first time low key sign a hairless [TS]

  person they're like what [TS]

  yeah anyway there you go let's move on [TS]

  to the next round and then quickly [TS]

  throughout the one thing I skipped over [TS]

  in favor of my silly choice so sure fine [TS]

  haha the ending of knights of the old [TS]

  republic to oh yeah that's awful [TS]

  religion is like they're of knights of [TS]

  the old republic is a great game makes [TS]

  the old republic to is a great game [TS]

  until you get the last four hours then [TS]

  they just ran out of time and there's no [TS]

  game their sheep [TS]

  yeah I i was going to have seriously [TS]

  considering picking that but I abandoned [TS]

  it because i figured it'd really [TS]

  influenced my opinion of the original [TS]

  star wars at all because I feel like [TS]

  it's removed enough but at it in terms [TS]

  of how it relates to the previous game [TS]

  is just awful [TS]

  absolutely let's move on to round five [TS]

  is something from the prequels that you [TS]

  wish just didn't exist [TS]

  David lure the prequels I well okay okay [TS]

  okay to make the the dialogue is just [TS]

  every all the way the dialogue [TS]

  sure I mean I mean if I had to narrow [TS]

  down to you know specific granular [TS]

  dialogue so to speak [TS]

  I hate sand sand gets in everything I [TS]

  you know I mean just every supposedly [TS]

  tom stoppard helped on revenge of the [TS]

  sith no no he didn't [TS]

  it's all horrible yeah it's all her [TS]

  everyone to be fair he was SQ is a [TS]

  gunpoint the dialogue is off the board [TS]

  David Sparkes other so much i know but [TS]

  you have to pick something up [TS]

  alright well one that's personal to me i [TS]

  really loved yoda an episode 5 and the [TS]

  CGI Yoda he looked bad i didn't like his [TS]

  dialogue either i mean a frank oz once [TS]

  described Yoda as in master who will [TS]

  also eat the last cookie right in front [TS]

  of you and I didn't get that whimsy with [TS]

  him in the prequels and I didn't like [TS]

  the way it looks solid [TS]

  dan oh man again so many options i think [TS]

  im gonna have to take charge our banks [TS]

  off the table [TS]

  okay yeah i think we can all agree with [TS]

  the prequels we better get Jar Jar Binks [TS]

  was nowhere to be found [TS]

  Tom well we would be harder you know we [TS]

  have to work slightly harder to hate [TS]

  them as much as we do so thanks to jar [TS]

  for that but otherwise it [TS]

  yeah I guess Holiday you made it easy [TS]

  Joe hayden christensen yes also unlike [TS]

  me anything this is all like low-hanging [TS]

  fruit so far yes we're all good it's all [TS]

  good and we do a whole episode about [TS]

  this but it's just it's a fun little [TS]

  walk to the prequels and individual [TS]

  items that we that we would choose Monty [TS]

  younglings both the word and the actual [TS]

  baby Jedi's we don't need CJ I preschool [TS]

  by Young's one of my youngs John [TS]

  something I've been something the [TS]

  prequels you wish didn't exist i'm going [TS]

  to go with couches because so many [TS]

  channels into the propellant couple [TS]

  second character that [TS]

  no no couches at the very least they [TS]

  would have had to stand rap space when [TS]

  talking to each other and wouldn't have [TS]

  been able to just sit there on the [TS]

  couches and say stupid they're all [TS]

  replaced with lazy boy just like having [TS]

  if they're all on pool floats just think [TS]

  about it [TS]

  yeah oh that would be a much better [TS]

  movie happy great i would love to see [TS]

  that the I hate sand seen replayed but [TS]

  it's it's a it's Anakin sitting in the [TS]

  side of a pool with his legs in the [TS]

  water and Amidala just in a pool float [TS]

  out in the middle like rolling your eyes [TS]

  i would love that [TS]

  just floating by in my dream that's [TS]

  right that's right he uses force power [TS]

  to like flow to the other way I don't [TS]

  know [TS]

  alright here's mine Madonna is kinda [TS]

  awesome in episode 1 and so the thing I [TS]

  actually wish didn't exist is how she [TS]

  gets sidelined and turned into the the [TS]

  passive girlfriend especially in episode [TS]

  what a waste of the actress and what a [TS]

  waste of the character to that we're [TS]

  street where she ends up so that's [TS]

  that's the thing that I wish they'd that [TS]

  they didn't do is sign sideline and get [TS]

  us the kind of dumb useless Amidala who [TS]

  we see later because uh good actress uh [TS]

  interesting character and they blew it [TS]

  that's the thing that bugs me it rankles [TS]

  and she's cool episode 2 in that a arena [TS]

  fight just like tonight it's different [TS]

  it's really an episode 3 where her [TS]

  character is destroyed but then you have [TS]

  all the love dialogue between the [TS]

  speaking of dialogue that's what I would [TS]

  pick their whole courtship is like just [TS]

  gag I'm we having that was on Miley yeah [TS]

  yeah yeah I got most of the blame for [TS]

  that on Hayden's line deliveries to her [TS]

  but the dialogue she's giving us also [TS]

  not forget you can excuse Jake Lloyd [TS]

  from that one either [TS]

  yeah yeah I think feel like people were [TS]

  taking hayden christensen because they [TS]

  didn't want to be mean to a kid but Jake [TS]

  Lloyd oh goodness [TS]

  yeah yeah well he was also on my list of [TS]

  somebody had already picked a Christian [TS]

  and I just I just dislike hate more [TS]

  we don't have enough time to go through [TS]

  all the things that we didn't mention [TS]

  but i'll refer you to the like nine [TS]

  hours of podcasting we did about the [TS]

  prequels if you'd like to get back into [TS]

  that and make your own list a couple [TS]

  more rounds to go [TS]

  here's another one where it's going to [TS]

  be a little hard but I want you to think [TS]

  it's been a year now what's the worst [TS]

  thing [TS]

  in retrospect in the force awakens David [TS]

  Sparkes the thing that bugs me the most [TS]

  and this is a new toner thing is at the [TS]

  end after hon dies and they returned and [TS]

  Leia standing there and chewy disembarks [TS]

  from the Falcon and Leia and Chewie have [TS]

  the super long relationship the two [TS]

  people who loved him the most and chili [TS]

  just walks right pastor and I don't know [TS]

  what it's hit that instead she's going [TS]

  to hug somebody who's relatively [TS]

  stranger in her life and you know it [TS]

  just feels to me like that moment if [TS]

  they really wanted to have the scene of [TS]

  lay embracing right that's great but [TS]

  chewy should not have been in that scene [TS]

  at all I mean watching him walk past i [TS]

  just felt like that was like with this [TS]

  guy i noticed it the first time I [TS]

  watched the movie i'm thinking how did [TS]

  this happen [TS]

  I mean how did they not you know what [TS]

  she should've done and she should have [TS]

  had like had a metal and said this is [TS]

  Hans you wanted to have to I said I'd [TS]

  rather kiss a Wookiee that's not what [TS]

  I'm like Lucas JJ admitted that was a [TS]

  mistake yeah hello yeah right you [TS]

  imagine that you said I'll we be messed [TS]

  up sorry about that [TS]

  yeah that the way they shot it was like [TS]

  oh yeah we believe that but i agree with [TS]

  you do thats that bugs me [TS]

  dan I think i'm going to pick supreme [TS]

  leader Snoke who is kind of a weird [TS]

  carry you know I realized that this [TS]

  seems a little premature because we [TS]

  haven't seen the other shoe to drop [TS]

  but I'm also not convinced that there is [TS]

  another shoe that could drop that I [TS]

  would be affectionate you know we we [TS]

  have this weird holographic creature who [TS]

  is done by andy serkis and who's [TS]

  supposed to is very clearly the sort of [TS]

  our Emperor analogy and I just at he [TS]

  seems weird it seems weird that there's [TS]

  this guy there that nobody knows about [TS]

  or that I guess they do know about them [TS]

  but they can't have [TS]

  I just don't understand I don't [TS]

  understand it seems one of the you know [TS]

  people accuse the force awakens of Ewing [TS]

  too closely to the original star wars [TS]

  and I feel like this is one place where [TS]

  it is right now it seems like that's a [TS]

  weird decision that is just clearly [TS]

  intended to set up a villain who is [TS]

  worse than kylo Ren [TS]

  III just don't there's no wait there [TS]

  because we have no idea who this person [TS]

  is the way Clinton cg need someone in [TS]

  charge though because it without them [TS]

  you just got a young color red who is [TS]

  kind of a mess and you've got young [TS]

  shouting harry potter guy who's also [TS]

  seems too young to be in charge so you [TS]

  need someone who's in charge doesn't [TS]

  have to be out doesn't have to be a [TS]

  holographic Emperor know but it has to [TS]

  be a no yeah that's my point yeah I'm [TS]

  okay with it also the name is dumb and [TS]

  this isn't a franchise with a lot of [TS]

  dumb knee [TS]

  alright Joe what do you think [TS]

  well dance night to my Snoke so are you [TS]

  okay i suck your snow per ship if you're [TS]

  gonna go with my my my backup option and [TS]

  that is I really hate seeing the planet [TS]

  explode from another planet yeah IM [TS]

  system and it makes me angry nose on my [TS]

  list [TS]

  well done i was almost too i'm kind of [TS]

  stretching the use of in retrospect [TS]

  because I was furious when I was [TS]

  watching yeah and those things are [TS]

  taking place within moments after you [TS]

  saw that you didn't like yeah you know [TS]

  it you know the thing that bothers me is [TS]

  that this really bugs the hell out of me [TS]

  in in Star Trek yep and and then JJ and [TS]

  did it again where it's like JJ you [TS]

  can't see and it's in other solar [TS]

  systems from the surface of a planet [TS]

  space advisor what that all explode at [TS]

  the same time with your magical [TS]

  hyperspace weapon firing and splitting [TS]

  and blowing up everything so you can you [TS]

  can even see the way that it's working [TS]

  from the the surface of another planet [TS]

  through actually shoots viewscreens into [TS]

  the atmosphere of a bunch of other [TS]

  planets so that you can see it Monty uh [TS]

  well I've only seen force awakens once [TS]

  but as i remember they spend a lot of [TS]

  time worrying about putting together a [TS]

  map of the galaxy not like a map of an [TS]

  island or something and I don't see why [TS]

  they needed all the other parts when [TS]

  r2d2's part is the only part that [TS]

  actually has where Luke is [TS]

  luckily r2 is just sleeping until it's [TS]

  time for the movie to be over and then [TS]

  he wakes up and says oh here you go [TS]

  he's over there they even say at some [TS]

  point like he probably doesn't have it [TS]

  which is hilarious [TS]

  I would like our tues awakening to be a [TS]

  little more justified in that I think he [TS]

  just wakes up because BBA just hanging [TS]

  out with him a lot [TS]

  yeah I have some complex headcam in here [TS]

  but it's entirely made up because you're [TS]

  right the movie doesn't support it [TS]

  yeah i'm motivated yep John you just [TS]

  stole my are two missing that piece one [TS]

  because i think that was just-- needless [TS]

  so i'm going to go with my second which [TS]

  is much weaker but i think it's along [TS]

  the same vein as the snow pic maz [TS]

  kanata's castle place thing obviously an [TS]

  echo of the cantina but I don't think it [TS]

  has it doesn't have any residency there [TS]

  like with the original it's luke coming [TS]

  into basically the big cities a farm boy [TS]

  comes into the big city he's not [TS]

  prepared for the cantina at all the [TS]

  aliens in the rough characters are going [TS]

  to meet there and all that business [TS]

  right he's he's out of his element when [TS]

  they come to Mom's place Hans like oh [TS]

  you know don't look at any of this stuff [TS]

  like he gives the same speech like okay [TS]

  you guys probably aren't ready for this [TS]

  but if you like crazy aliens in there [TS]

  but they are ready for it [TS]

  I mean great comes from towns got crazy [TS]

  aliens running around all the time Janet [TS]

  Reno's other languages she's may not not [TS]

  that the whole town that she's that is a [TS]

  big hug but it's not a big thing to her [TS]

  and the other thing has been trained as [TS]

  a storm trooper and presently has been [TS]

  around the galaxy so you mislike yes [TS]

  shot a lot of people look like that [TS]

  yeah this is that there's a fun gallery [TS]

  of lots of fun aliens and it's [TS]

  interesting setting but as an echo of [TS]

  the cantina I feel like it it falls [TS]

  flattens mostly there because JJ wanted [TS]

  to have a cantina scene so now he does [TS]

  it doesn't take away from the movie but [TS]

  doesn't really do anything for me they [TS]

  don't think David Dan and John kinda [TS]

  foreshadowed me a little bit in in [TS]

  general I would say Jays mystery box [TS]

  when it comes to any of JJ Abrams films [TS]

  he only has one box it's the same box [TS]

  please go buy some more boxes JJ but [TS]

  specifically in this it's it's it's not [TS]

  that it's the echoes of everything I I [TS]

  get the idea of having repeating cycles [TS]

  and echoes and that's fine it's that the [TS]

  echoes don't do anything interesting [TS]

  with that cycle right it its it's pretty [TS]

  much following the same template and you [TS]

  know just like [TS]

  going to mazza's and being you know a BB [TS]

  prepared and you know it's going to be [TS]

  crazy in there and then it's not crazy [TS]

  in there and they're ready for it but [TS]

  there's no real payoff to that either [TS]

  its it all these little echoes that [TS]

  don't do anything except echo that's [TS]

  like I want a twist i want you know if [TS]

  if your movie is a Rubik's Cube try and [TS]

  solve it solve it in a different way [TS]

  turn multiple ways to solve it you know [TS]

  just don't do it exactly the same way [TS]

  alright I for mine i'm going to say [TS]

  something that is very similar to the [TS]

  direction that David was pointing I feel [TS]

  like we've been moving in a direction [TS]

  here which is quite simply I don't think [TS]

  that we needed another Death Star [TS]

  mhm and Starkiller base ultimately is [TS]

  just another Death Star except it's [TS]

  garbage into a planet instead of built [TS]

  and I appreciate the echoes again of of [TS]

  the past movies but if you pretend of [TS]

  prequels don't exist that's three out of [TS]

  five movement or three or four movie [TS]

  sorry three out of four movies that uh [TS]

  have a giant planet killing weapon ball [TS]

  yeah and it's just it no I mean I I feel [TS]

  like they could have had a dangerous [TS]

  space weapon or some other thing on a [TS]

  planet that was not literally [TS]

  what if the Death Star wasn't a planet [TS]

  instead of a space station and it bugs [TS]

  me [TS]

  not as much as jetstar were one of us [TS]

  yeah I just what if any medicine but if [TS]

  penny meadow start honestly jose pic was [TS]

  the one that really was at the top of my [TS]

  list but next up with Starkiller base i [TS]

  just i i i there's some nice stuff that [TS]

  happens on that's you know on Starkiller [TS]

  base plan as a retread of the Death Star [TS]

  I felt like it was too too much and it [TS]

  wasn't necessary i think this is an echo [TS]

  that actually does have a twist on it [TS]

  because they you know when we know the [TS]

  whole han solo scene is going on there [TS]

  so that's our mean that's what we really [TS]

  care about right but during that there's [TS]

  the little Maj the trench run which is [TS]

  you know at risk is darker whatever in [TS]

  the shooting and they blow it up [TS]

  they're all flying away from it in that [TS]

  shot but it's not celebratory it is the [TS]

  opposite of the way we blow up the Death [TS]

  Star from Star Wars right is because [TS]

  what we just saw happened even the music [TS]

  cues you to end it i love how they have [TS]

  like the thing glowing really bright [TS]

  that overwhelms the silhouettes of the [TS]

  ships in front of it it is not a [TS]

  celebration of a great victory it is an [TS]

  acknowledgement of the loss we just [TS]

  experienced inside we've defeated this [TS]

  thing but it's still a pretty common [TS]

  I I'm I you know I I don't think you [TS]

  need to have a giant desktop around like [TS]

  they're going to include it they're [TS]

  gonna do a giant you know planet killing [TS]

  ball [TS]

  I like the fact that he didn't blow up [TS]

  and we all cheer at the end because that [TS]

  right with no metal you know metals [TS]

  given out here and and that that is [TS]

  absolutely right that is the one thing [TS]

  that if that had been several planet [TS]

  killing balls earlier would have been a [TS]

  great you know you know green he doesn't [TS]

  have a planet coming ball in it so [TS]

  there's that sorry you guys are not [TS]

  gonna like the galaxy exploding ball [TS]

  that David you place a lien balls is not [TS]

  a measure of time it's a measure of [TS]

  distance okay that well it's really [TS]

  amazing weight is what it is all right [TS]

  let's move on to our final round where [TS]

  we're gonna we've been negative if it's [TS]

  true we have been but you know what [TS]

  we're gonna get positive here with this [TS]

  last round which is I would like each of [TS]

  you to provide me with a bad thing in [TS]

  star wars that could be made good via a [TS]

  new Star Wars story anthology movie like [TS]

  rogue one or the han solo movie that's [TS]

  coming in a couple years something that [TS]

  you could improve by making a movie [TS]

  focused on it and for this last round [TS]

  guess what i'm going to go first no I [TS]

  know breaking president we're gonna make [TS]

  a star wars a standalone movie or Jason [TS]

  doesn't go first [TS]

  as was foretold actually buy [TS]

  surprisingly by a pic earlier in the [TS]

  draft [TS]

  I'm going to say it I want a movie that [TS]

  retcons the death by sadness of POD may [TS]

  and shows us the life that she leads [TS]

  after the kids are born [TS]

  we're late baby Leia actually knows her [TS]

  little bit but she's very young and what [TS]

  her maybe she's in hiding on Alderaan or [TS]

  something like that show me that get [TS]

  natalie portman back and we do a little [TS]

  movie about Padre and a secret mission [TS]

  that she has to do and it's the real [TS]

  story about what happened to Luke and [TS]

  Leia's mother because it was all vacate [TS]

  was a setup fee they have faked her [TS]

  death they are ya because they need our [TS]

  theater director she's dead right so [TS]

  that is my daughter into and put on two [TS]

  different planets [TS]

  so that's my that's my theory Padma I [TS]

  thought you were gonna pick a movie that [TS]

  makes me and um actually be sucked me in [TS]

  the early years of me and um sure yeah [TS]

  Dan whatever what's a bad thing and star [TS]

  wars that could be made good by a new [TS]

  star wars in college movie not enough [TS]

  Lando yep and so well i'll spend a [TS]

  little bit because I think that's the [TS]

  the Cleve answer but the longer answer [TS]

  is you know certainly up until episode 7 [TS]

  and even there to a certain extent [TS]

  diversity not one of Star Wars strong [TS]

  points [TS]

  I feel like it's great that we've got a [TS]

  movie coming out in written form robot [TS]

  with a female lead [TS]

  that's fantastic but i think it would [TS]

  definitely be great to see a more [TS]

  diverse star wars universe in terms of [TS]

  you know it's developing characters with [TS]

  more people of color and women and every [TS]

  just across the gamut [TS]

  I think we really need a a star wars [TS]

  some more Star Wars stuff that focuses [TS]

  on you know sort of a broader range and [TS]

  and diversity of people [TS]

  Lando obviously one of my one of my [TS]

  favorite characters and so i really look [TS]

  forward to seeing him appear in the [TS]

  hustle movie but like gosh darn it [TS]

  wasn't landed deserve his own movie [TS]

  that's what I'm saying I just wait [TS]

  Donald Glover stuff too i know i feel [TS]

  like that's right that's rich right [TS]

  there so like we we gotta we gotta spin [TS]

  that off from the Han Solo he's gonna be [TS]

  great i have no worries about that Joe [TS]

  I have kind of a weird broad thing and [TS]

  that i would I really like the droids [TS]

  and star wars but i always have found it [TS]

  strange that there seems to be zero [TS]

  interest in the exploring how sentient [TS]

  or subservient or what level of freedom [TS]

  the droids really have [TS]

  so I kind of want to see something that [TS]

  pursues something more we're ia the [TS]

  droid maybe c-3po maybe your to do to [TS]

  maybe someone we don't know yet [TS]

  and in just kind of puts it out there [TS]

  that maybe they can make some choices [TS]

  that aren't necessarily tied to the [TS]

  wishes of the main cast of humans in a [TS]

  movie so that would be something I would [TS]

  like they should do it is a saturday [TS]

  morning cartoon series know what I was [TS]

  gonna be a one-off Lord world [TS]

  Monty Jedi fighting styles are kind of [TS]

  all over the map in the movies you have [TS]

  them kind of kendo inspired in 1977 [TS]

  because they're allocated star David [TS]

  Prowse were super flippy but then later [TS]

  you get episode one where everybody is [TS]

  our is doing ray park flips and then you [TS]

  get 2 episode 3 where everybody is CGI [TS]

  in doing triple backflips [TS]

  so what I'd like is a movie that [TS]

  explains all Jedi fighting shows [TS]

  different styles than we've seen and [TS]

  comes to some sort of justification for [TS]

  why really this kendo fighting is the [TS]

  most advanced version and it's all that [TS]

  flipping around that obi-wan was doing [TS]

  in his youth [TS]

  that's because he wasn't a master like [TS]

  he is now and the advantage of doing [TS]

  this is a movie you it would be like [TS]

  eighty percent dead i fighting [TS]

  20-percent history lecture which I'm [TS]

  totally on board more [TS]

  alright that's a high history lecture [TS]

  percentage for a popular movie asset [TS]

  instead popular it's a star wars on [TS]

  occasion by it's a criterion collection [TS]

  of Star Wars I can't wait to see how the [TS]

  drunken master technique that is exactly [TS]

  but let's see some weird fighting styles [TS]

  of martial arts movie i love it [TS]

  yeah I think we're gonna get some of [TS]

  that road 1 John so i read i guess i [TS]

  can't say that i just want to reboot the [TS]

  entire prequels and and do a do-over on [TS]

  that because that wouldn't be going if [TS]

  they wouldn't be an anthology movie so [TS]

  Palpatine is one of the best things in [TS]

  the prequels it's a good actor and he [TS]

  and generally you know delivered his [TS]

  lines well and everything but because [TS]

  you know but he still that's that's so [TS]

  weak point of the entire [TS]

  the reason is kind of annoying to have a [TS]

  secret identity drawing on everything [TS]

  but to redeem that character which is [TS]

  Palpatine from the prequels not [TS]

  Palpatine the original trilogy i would [TS]

  like a young Palpatine story it sorry [TS]

  the story of his ascension to be to the [TS]

  the head of the secret city auditor it [TS]

  doesn't have to be the darth plagueis [TS]

  thing like we don't know for certain as [TS]

  of the the prequels but he's talking [TS]

  about himself although he probably is so [TS]

  you can make up any story you want for [TS]

  young Palpatine discovering the forest [TS]

  and discovering that he kind of wants to [TS]

  rule the dark side of it so little young [TS]

  Palpatine says are you an angel to [TS]

  general are you at Temple exactly [TS]

  opposite SII picture it being basically [TS]

  season three of the wire and Tommy [TS]

  Carcetti is your delta t he also [TS]

  constructed a droid artoo-detoo that's [TS]

  ok wipes wipes his memory it's fine no [TS]

  no no [TS]

  Oh David well you know I i kinda want to [TS]

  know more about these characters just [TS]

  because they made such an impression on [TS]

  me at such a young age and and I revisit [TS]

  this every couple years I i watch it [TS]

  again and I just I want to know more [TS]

  about them i want to know how they ended [TS]

  up in this place I want to know if they [TS]

  know each other and and if they may be [TS]

  end up together [TS]

  I want a prequel movie about Art Carney [TS]

  and be Arthur from the Highlands knew [TS]

  David was gonna bring everything through [TS]

  how do they know each other but you [TS]

  would improve it [TS]

  what is the relationship with Diahann [TS]

  Carroll in the wiki porn he can't you [TS]

  can't make it worse just to a gritty [TS]

  life day reboot [TS]

  blood everywhere like it sounds like [TS]

  that's got out there is a lot of tragedy [TS]

  that happened on life day David Sparkes [TS]

  you get to you get to closes down here [TS]

  what's up what's up what's a anthology [TS]

  movie you want to see a bit of a stretch [TS]

  but one of my problems with the prequels [TS]

  is the way they take baby Luke you know [TS]

  they want to hide him so they take him [TS]

  to Anakin stepbrother the house he grew [TS]

  up in and leave you know I don't forget [TS]

  as thinking man there's a lot of other [TS]

  places i would have started but either [TS]

  way so you've got yo you gotta only one [TS]

  of my favorite characters in the wild [TS]

  here to look out after this kid and and [TS]

  somehow Luke makes it to be teenager [TS]

  without having you know the world [TS]

  tumbling on him [TS]

  I bet there would be some great stories [TS]

  about how I'll be one in the background [TS]

  was protecting him and looking out for [TS]

  him and I think that would be an [TS]

  excellent movie almost like like a [TS]

  Western maybe but then adjust obi-wan [TS]

  alone out there in his little hovel [TS]

  looking over this kid you just pitched [TS]

  the escort mission the movie I think you [TS]

  and McGregor has pitched this movie is [TS]

  something so yeah I heard that he was [TS]

  interested and he'd be the right age to [TS]

  do it now so hopefully they'll make that [TS]

  one [TS]

  alright we've reached the end we have we [TS]

  have uh I don't know gotten some of our [TS]

  feelings out about things that are not [TS]

  so great in Star Wars movie showed a [TS]

  little optimism and of course there's a [TS]

  new star wars movie coming soon and and [TS]

  relentlessly everyone every year forever [TS]

  so more to talk about about star wars [TS]

  are like to thank my panelists for being [TS]

  here for this episode [TS]

  dan more'n thank you very much may the [TS]

  force be with you Jason's thank you [TS]

  the force will be with you always Joe [TS]

  steel thank you have no yub indeed never [TS]

  forget [TS]

  yup nub Monty Ashley did I mention one [TS]

  quarter portion because that's also kind [TS]

  of weird [TS]

  alright just make that the portion size [TS]

  portion control yeah but what do you got [TS]

  against fractions just weird [TS]

  John siracusa thank you can't wait to [TS]

  find out if they get those Death Star [TS]

  plans [TS]

  mmm i hope so boy wouldn't wouldn't be [TS]

  something to lure thank you Joe sniped [TS]

  my ending so I'm just going to say [TS]

  latini [TS]

  David Sparkes thank you thank you i have [TS]

  problems because i love it all so much [TS]

  yeah I know but you know you gotta we [TS]

  can't we we care we we we love because [TS]

  we care we care because we love about on [TS]

  something like that i'm working on the [TS]

  kid because we care it's literally ago [TS]

  we care because we're nerds like that [TS]

  and thanks to everybody out there for [TS]

  listening to this edition of the [TS]

  uncomfortable we will see you next week [TS]

  [Music] [TS]